.
having actually contemplated this question when pre-pubescent, i made a vow to never have children.
fast forward from there, i had two children, as biology demanded.
what i did differently was decided by how i would have fared better, had my parents been conscious of anything other than themselves while raising me. i did everything differently, and i have been assured by both of my children that i did a good job. they are the only ones qualified to judge me on that point. we are great friends, now that they are grown. =)
BEAUTIFUL answer, little queen.
A very important policy to follow, Nanoose. And from what I have seen of my myself and cousins, none of us is spoiled.
I didn't intend this question to elicit a list of grievances, but thanks all the same for your answer.
Indeed.
Fair enough, MorningStar. I respect your desire to abstain from answering.
=) thanks, Neelie.
Not had more children than I could comfortably afford to raise.
Had I been them, I would have stopped having kids after my older brother (hence my sister and I would not be here).
They did the best they could under the circumstances, but their marriage was a 30-year war which should have been avoided or ended earlier.
I see and you're welcome.
:)
In retrospect, would you, in their place, have avoided or ended the 30-year war?
(Btw, I like your allusion to history.)
I'd have to write a book. Main ones however would be:
treating me as a human being with equal rights rather than singling me out as the scapegoat
Being able to admit wrong and be truly sorry meaning never to do harm to me again
deal with their own issues and unloving behaviour instead of projecting on to another generation
, monklington.
One of the most healing moments for me in therapy
was when after telling the story of what Dad did,
everyone, including the men unanimously condemned it.
There was something that went deep into me at that moment.
Yes, it was wrong.
He never had the right to do any of it.
He was sick in his behaviour.
It was not my fault.
I was not to blame.
Amazing how such simple and obvious things
when they come from others
sincere and deeply felt
can make such a transformational difference.
And I guess when it comes from others it's very comforting to know that our grouse is real, and we are really not to blame for harbouring it. Thank you monklington and hartfire for your insights.
I don't want to talk about it. Doesn't matter now.
Not drink.
Work.
Everything else would follow naturally and rightly from those two.
