I slept for several years on an ordinary bed, but I kept remembering how wonderful my water bed used to be. So I shopped around for a water bed.
The first thing you learn when shopping for a water bed now is that crackpot peddlers have invented a bazillion things they call "water bed" but they either never knew or never cared what a water bed was. So after a few weeks I found a store that sells an actual water bed. One! Count 'em! One! store!
About the same time I ran across an idle comment about how good air beds are now, like, much better than they used to be. And an air bed is one third the price of a water bed, with no danger when it leaks. I bought the air bed.
Now doncha know an air bed is 19 inches thick. I don't know why, but that's what it is. I bought the fitted sheet set that was recommended to use with that mattress. It was an ok set, but it only fitted a mattress up to 16 inches thick.
I went to the discount store to look at plush blankets, because I am fond of plush blankets. I sewed buttons to the blanket and stretched rubber bands under the bed to tie my blanket/fuzzy sheet in place. There is a lot of integral calculus involved, but in the final analysis, things tied to an air mattress do not maintain a constant phase relationship. That means they slide around a lot.
So I scouted around and found a foundation, which is a wooden platform made to hold a full size mattress up to where you can sit on it. A full size foundation is about two inches smaller all around than a queen size air bed. Cup hooks in the foundation, and my blanket/fuzzy sheet is tied to the floor. The air bed still slides around, but it can only slide an inch or so and I can live with that. Also the bed is now 25 inches high instead of 19 inches, and I find that to be much more pleasant.
Now we come to the sticky part. (You were getting frustrated from wondering about that, weren't you?) When you roll into an air bed, it gets real obvious that the air bed has no weight, and there is nothing down there to support your weight, so the mattress slides away from you and then as you shift your weight it slides in the direction you came from, and the blanket sticks to your knee, or whatever part hits it first. The result is wrinkles piling up on the approach side of the bed. That's not bad because they will straighten out with just a shake. (We're talking about an air bed here: you can shake it.) The bad part is that the blankets, more than one, stick to your skin, and when you try to roll, the whole bed rolls with you and you can't pull the blanket out from under you to get it over you where it belongs.
Tune in again next week when Jewels Vern says "@#$%^&"
ProblemCh1ld 