I can't believe my luck! You're paying me all this money and all I have to do is agree to never use tildes again? Deal!

Great. Thanks. All you have to do is sign right here at the bottom of the page. 

...

Wait a minute. What's that down below your signature? A TILDE? :o Dude, you didn't even last through the signing. You need serious help. 

And by the way, that nullifies the contract. 

  What money? You didn't give me any money, I didn't receive any money. Do you have proof that you gave me any money? I thought not. Besides, who would believe that I'd make some deal to never use tildes again? That's just plain crazy. Too many people know about me and my connection to tildes. Please leave now.

(Later, on the telephone: "Hello, Yachts-R-Us?  I'd like to place a cash order, please.")



~

They recently put a 'tilde' tax into the IRS laws. Due today. Sorry. This post was edited by B.H.Wilson at April 15, 2018 8:58 AM MDT

OK, as long as you don't want: