Can you "love" someone you don't know? If so isn't it the illusion you love since you don't have a clue who the person really is?

oh HELL yes I can love someone I don't know......I have 'crushes' all the time on famous people......and you are right; it's also known as 'falling in love with love'.........and it doesn't hurt anyone so why not enjoy it?

I'm a gay guy and right now my big crush is Ray Nagin.......former gov. of NO.....now in federal prison in TX......the man is SOOOOO hot......

I know, kinda nuts, right? but I enjoy it and keep his photo in my phone!!!..............have thought of writing to him but all mail, incoming and outgoing, is read by the 'authorities' so I don't like that, but understand the need for it.........

hmmmm  I just may write to him yet!!!!!!!  

:-D

Yes, you can love someone you have never met. The "never met" I'm talking about is the relationships that start out as internet romances. While they have never met in person, spending a lot of time together either video messaging or via the telephone can stir up a lot of emotions and you can begin to develop strong bonds and sometimes love grows.

I don't think love is a feeling, but a commitment and I suppose it's possible.

Here's the fly in that ointment PC. If you have never met someone how do you know the person is being honest with you? It could be a totally different person than he or she presents  to you. You will never know. You can buy the lie and fantasize and fall in "love" with an 80 year old woman or a 16 year old kid or a married man who shines women on constantly on the internet. You know that is true. There are many phonies who thrive on internet scams. Years ago on Answerbag there were two cruel and  miserable people who devastated many folks. In fact when they found out they had been scammed they disappeared. They were crushed. I would not invest any emotion on anyone you meet on the internet whom you have never met face-to-face. Some people are very cruel and get off on manipulating others. I'm just sayin'. Don' t invest any part of yourself that you can't afford to lose. Sorry for the downer but I've observed a few of those scams that crushed the folks  involved and hurt them deeply.  It is heartbreaking.  Thank you for your reply PC! :)

 Thank you for your reply FNR! :)

Most welcome :)

Hi Rosie, I understand people's apprehension in believing an Internet relationship can work but they can. The reason I know this is because I'm now with the man I met on an online chat site. We spent hours video chatting over an extended period of time, so I knew exactly what he looked like. I had his address and he had mine and we would mail each other packages and we had many telephone calls. After a period of time, I met him as well as his family.

But I, like you, questioned some of the same things you did. Not that he was who he was, because we had seen each other, but about his intentions. It probably could have gone both ways. Look at all the dating sites they have online. Not that they all work out but some do. I once worked with a gal that had been married some 15 years to a man she met online and they have one child. If I had to place a bet, I'm pretty sure the majority don't end up happily ever after but that's life.

I met my best friend online as well. Although he was in love with me, I wasn't with him, but we continued to remain close friends for many years until he passed away.

In all honesty, it's a very difficult relationship to maintain with problems not encountered by most couples.

In love with love itself?

Yeah, it is an illusion. But so is meeting someone in person.

Agreed

I am so happy for you m'dear. I am! I have known of relationships that began online among two strangers who later met and either married or moved in together. Some worked, some didn't. I am glad that you are one of the exceptions. But if you had never met in real life I would be very suspicious about the  WHY? If you click and it seems serious I would think both parties would be anxious to meet. If someone is always always  making excuses about why he/she cannot meet in person that is a definite red flag . Thank you for sharing that great story m'dear and Happy Thursday to thee PC! :)

 If you meet in person where is the illusion? Unless the person is a phony and a liar and you are easily dupable. Thank you for your reply NHP! :)

My husband and I still surprise each other occasionally after having known each other since we met 33 years ago.

Being in-love is itself an illusion - we see the other as better, wiser, etc. We inflate the qualities and ignore or deflate the flaws. We imagine and project on the slightest of hints. It's a madness. So the trick is to know that one is in that state and not let it entirely take over one's reality.

I have a friend who is mysterious, who rarely answers a personal question. Normally I wouldn't reveal myself to such a one, and yet there's no question of the intelligence, the values, and the straightforward responses. There is congruity. And that enables me to have a degree of trust that otherwise I would not normally feel.

I have other friends who think that even asking a personal question is rude, and so I don't ask at all and remain utterly in the dark - perhaps friendly acquaintance is a better term.

And then there are others here who have a level of openness that I deeply cherish and who's confidences I will take to the grave.

When you put it that way hartfire I kinda take back my question partially. That is to say I LOVE some of the answers from some of the folks I get. I LOVE how their minds work and they explain in detail the why in a clear and accessible way. I LOVE chatting with them. But I don't KNOW them. I don't have a clue if they're married/single, or what they do, or what their hobbies are or where they live or anything of a personal nature. They prefer to keep me at arm's length and they do. But I can LOVE what I get from them for sure without ever really getting to know them. I hadn't thought of it that way. Thank you for your very thoughtful answer my friend! :)

It would be more of an infatuation. These things have been known to happen.

That is crazy! 

People show only a part of them. No? You don't really know many people around you. Regardless of how long you've known them for. It's not being phoney,. It's what we do.

LOL  You got it.

You cannot.