When my mom had her stroke a few years back, I got a call late one night that she maybe had 24 hours to live. My kids were recovering from ear infections and I needed the doctor's clearance before I could travel with them (I had no alternate care). They were two and five at the time. So, I got them into the doctor's the next morning, the doctor cleared them, and we were on a flight that afternoon. It was agony for them, particularly the little guy. At takeoff, he grabbed hold of his ear and just started screaming. I did my best to calm him, but he obviously hurt. The woman in front of us was incredibly nasty. She kept looking between the seats and griping at us. At one point, she reached between the seats and tried to slap my son. TBH, I don't remember how I reacted anymore. I'm pretty sure I either slapped her hand or threatened to kill her if she touched my son. Maybe I did both. Maybe I did neither. Maybe I just wished I had done those things. I do recall I was livid and protective.
In any case, fast-forward to now, my mom survived the stroke. However, she has the exact same mannerisms the woman on the plane did.
My mom once did something similar to my son. He walked too close to her and she got defensive for whatever reason and tried to hit him with her wheelchair. I grabbed the chair and screamed at her before she could connect with him. I asked her (in a not nice way) why she did it. She began crying and said she didn't know. She really didn't. That was one of the hardest things about it. I instantly felt horrible for yelling at her as I had, but at the same time, mortified for what she might do next. She didn't live with me much longer.
I don't doubt the woman on the plane was either a stroke survivor or had a TBI. Unlucky happenstance, I guess, to be seated next to her while going to my mother. Perhaps even ironic. I can't really blame either one for their bad behavior. I know my mom has no control over hers. Occasionally, she recognizes she's doing something odd and it bothers her too.
So, yeah, I think when you have brain degeneration or a chemical imbalance of the brain, you cannot control what you do. Those who actually realize what they're doing are trapped in their own personal hell, unable to make any sense out of their own actions. I can only imagine. Those of us who are blessed enough to have full control over our thoughts and actions should make allowances for those folks. One day, it might be us. That doesn't mean we should allow them to physically harm other people or put others in danger, but yeah, if it's only words, I fully believe we should just excuse the behavior and let them be. They can't control what they're doing, but we can control how we react to it.
Being old, on its own, no. However, dementia, as it progresses, increasingly removes the sufferer's capacities for perception, interpretation, communication, behaviour and choices. It removes the capacity for self-control. Dementia is the result of physical damage to the brain. There are 26 common forms of disease which destroy neurones, most typically in old age.
Certain forms of madness are also rooted in the malfunctioning of the neurones and neurotransmitters in the brain. The critical episodes of schizophrenia and mania are examples. In these instances, the person has absolutely no control over their perceptions or behaviour.
No,Never......only being born a very cute natural Blonde Bint Broard can that excuse be used for it to be exceptable.... :)D
This post was edited by Nice Jugs at June 22, 2018 3:39 AM MDT
Don Barzini 