Discussion » Questions » Relationships » What non-sexual things should be considered cheating in a relationship?

What non-sexual things should be considered cheating in a relationship?

Posted - July 19, 2018

Responses


  • 2658
    Secret bank accounts.
      July 19, 2018 7:21 PM MDT
    4

  • 3523
    I think just meeting with someone else alone socially without the other's knowledge.  
      July 19, 2018 7:46 PM MDT
    3

  • 7939
    I would agree. 
      July 19, 2018 8:41 PM MDT
    0

  • 5614
    Opposite sex, methink.
      July 19, 2018 10:31 PM MDT
    0

  • 7939
    Eh, that doesn't include the LGBs. I think in this day and age, gender need not be specified. 
      July 19, 2018 10:38 PM MDT
    0

  • 5614
    No, you should know before hand if your significant other is bi or pan sexual. Same sex meeting should be a lesser concern not to say it does not have its own issues. Be mindful of the company your "other" keeps.
      July 19, 2018 10:42 PM MDT
    0

  • 5835
    It has gotten to where many people want you to believe that "gender" is no longer a defined term.

    I have heard that in California it is now legal to marry a hologram.
      July 20, 2018 12:32 AM MDT
    0

  • 8210
    Telling your "private" life with your S/O outside of the relationship. 
    Letting someone else see you naked, seeing them naked. 
      July 19, 2018 8:25 PM MDT
    3

  • 7939
    Ooh... The first one is one I hand't considered, but I can see why it would make the list. I think that makes it an emotional affair. 
      July 19, 2018 8:42 PM MDT
    1

  • 8210
    Exactly!  That includes any "joking around" comments as well. 
      July 20, 2018 5:41 AM MDT
    0

  • 44583
    Some may consider a Princess-Knight relationship should.
      July 19, 2018 8:25 PM MDT
    2

  • 7939
    Anyone who thinks that obviously doesn't know a true knight. Knights are noble. 
      July 19, 2018 8:43 PM MDT
    1

  • 7280
    Ummm...and Sir Lancelot... 
      July 19, 2018 9:56 PM MDT
    1

  • 7939
    Ah, and his beloved queen, from whom my name ironically derives. 
    A legend, though. Lancelot no more existed than she nor King Arthur. 
    My response stands. 
      July 19, 2018 10:34 PM MDT
    1

  • 7280
    Clever---and true.

    But are you claiming exhaustive knowledge of the unswerving nobility of every knight that ever lived?
      July 24, 2018 6:20 PM MDT
    0

  • 17582
    Loving and having emotional attachment to another person and financially supporting him or her.
      July 19, 2018 9:40 PM MDT
    3

  • 7280
    Go with this general principle:  If you are seeking something outside the relationship that you should be seeking from your partner, you're getting close to adultery.
      July 19, 2018 9:47 PM MDT
    2

  • 7939
    Getting close to, but where is the line?
      July 19, 2018 10:36 PM MDT
    1

  • 7280
    Well, the answer is sort of like this.  If you are close enough to tell that the snake you are looking at is a pit viper, you are way too close.

    The line is relatively meaningless.  What if your boyfriend and my girlfriend are found naked in a room together before they have gotten all the way into the bed.  Isn't the why way more important than the what. 




      July 21, 2018 6:23 PM MDT
    2

  • 7939
    Yes and no. Naked in a room crosses a line, IMO. That one is pretty clear cut. There are, however, times when you may not realize you're looking at a viper despite your proximity to it or you may think it's a viper you can tame. 
      July 21, 2018 10:55 PM MDT
    1

  • 7280
    "Cheating in a relationship" is less (if at all) a phrase to be defined than a concept to be understood.

    But apparently you consider "cheating in a relationship" a deal breaker for that relationship.

    There is nothing in a relationship for which that I have zero tolerance.

    Because behavior is over-determined; and why a partner may engage in what you (or anybody else) may consider to be cheating may be minimally involved with your relationship when all the facts are in.

    It might be advantageous to talk with a professional who can help you clarify what issues in a romantic relationship---given your past experience and whatever current concerns you are running into-you are willing to accept, reject, or, frankly, endure.

    You have an absolute right to determine what you are willing to "tolerate" in a relationship.  As you say, naked in a room probably crosses a line; but most other things are less obvious and less agreed on.
      July 23, 2018 11:51 AM MDT
    2

  • 7939
    You're making assumptions by suggesting I should talk to a professional about what I'm willing to endure. Perhaps, in fact, I am the cheater. Or, perhaps I'm not in a relationship at all. 

    Moreover, I never suggested it was a deal-breaker. Most of us have limits. Some of us forgive and some of us don't. 

    It was just a question to see where people stood. I've been reading psychology books again and it prompted questions, especially the less agreed on area you mentioned. I appreciate you indulging my curiosity with your reply. And, FWIW, I am a little humbled that your assumptions put me on the faithful side. 
      July 24, 2018 12:09 AM MDT
    1

  • 7280
    Well, to some degree you have shared your story on your site and my "final" answer was based on the possibility that this was part of your story and perhaps I was "trespassing" on your "property.

    But when I said professional, I left of the word counselor.  But a professional counselor is also an educator in terms of proving insights into causes of behavior.

    I have two that I use as resources when necessary.

    Let me know if you got any sort of consensus in your survey beside "sexual activity."
      July 24, 2018 6:29 PM MDT
    1

  • 5614
    You ask good questions and I welcome you stimulating us more :)
      July 19, 2018 10:30 PM MDT
    3