Discussion » Questions » Family » For Fathers' Day, a buddy of mine received from his adult children a free genealogy search, which required a DNA test. (Read on, please.)
Randy D

For Fathers' Day, a buddy of mine received from his adult children a free genealogy search, which required a DNA test. (Read on, please.)


  About a month ago, the results arrived, and similar to the people you see in those television commercials for various ancestry services, he was surprised to find out the wide range of regions of the world from which he descended, such to the point that he was actually disappointed. I asked him if he was at least satisfied in knowing, even though the information was not what he had expected. He told me that in the end, he regretted the entire experience and would have preferred not finding out. If he had the choice of turning back the clock, he wishes he would have never participated in it.

Please select any or all of these questions below. 


A. Have you researched your own family tree?

B. If not, do you think you ever will?
B1. If you don't think you'll do it, why not?

C. If so, did you do it through DNA testing, or through other methods, or through both?
C1. Which other methods?

D. If you've already done it, how far back in history were you able to trace (what year), and what was your impression of the results?

E. In which situations would you recommend and in which situations would you not recommend someone researching their family history?

In my case,
A. No, other than knowing through oral family history that my maternal grandparents were born in the early 1920s in the US Midwest, and my mother was born in Mississippi in the early 1940s.  I do not know my biological father nor anything about him. 
B. I doubt it. 
B1. Meh, what's the big deal?
C. N/A. 
C1. N/A. 
D. I like the stories my mother and her parents told us throughout my childhood about their lives and their extended family members.
E. If someone had both a burning desire to know and a passion for tedious, intricate research or for paying to have it done, go right ahead, but don't place all expectations in one bag. If there are serious medical conditions or illnesses that need to be looked into, it might be worthwhile. On the other hand, if someone can't take the shock or let-down of any negatives lurking there, don't do it. Also, don't do it merely for someone else's sake, or because of pressure to do it. Lastly, discovering the background of a tilde fascination could devastate some people, so err on the side of caution. 


~

Posted - August 10, 2018
Tags : None

Responses


  • 6023
    From his reaction, I'm wondering how "racist" he is.
    I mean, I could understand being "shocked" ... thinking your family all came from one region, then discovering it came from another.
    But "disappointed"?  I don't get that.

    Anyway:

    A. Have you researched your own family tree?
    Yes.  Both my parents were into genealogy, and I found it interesting.  How far back can we trace it?  What did people do?  I really like finding actual records (census, land records, etc).

    C. If so, did you do it through DNA testing, or through other methods, or through both?
    Mainly through Ancestry.com and other people's research (with cross-checking).
    I do have a "23 and me" DNA kit that I received for Christmas from a friend.  I was thinking just this morning of finally doing it this weekend.  LOL


    D. If you've already done it, how far back in history were you able to trace (what year), and what was your impression of the results?
    My parents were able to trace their ancestors back to the American Revolution era.  
    My dad actually found a relative still living in an institution that no one had known about.  Placed there as a child, and "never mentioned" by the family.  After contacting a nearby distant-relative, they took him out of the institution to live with them.

    E. In which situations would you recommend and in which situations would you not recommend someone researching their family history?
    I feel everybody should research their family history ... especially through DNA.
    Then, maybe, everyone will realize how closely related we all are ... and finally put an end to racism and bigotry.
      August 10, 2018 9:56 AM MDT
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  • 53529

      Why would you assume he's racist to any degree whatsoever based on what you read here?  I think that's unnecessary and extremely insulting for you to leap to that, especially for someone you don't know. This post was edited by Randy D at August 10, 2018 1:37 PM MDT
      August 10, 2018 11:17 AM MDT
    3

  • 6477
    Jumping in with two left feet and playing Devil's Advocate.. but I didn't read it in any way offensive on Walt's part.. I thought that Walt was saying was that the person really didn't like what he found and we perhaps made the assumption that it was because there were people/races the person didn't like involved.. so it might be a form of racism? I did note though that you seemed to suggest that it was more that he came from so many places that upset him? If that's so perhaps it was that his ancestry was so diffused that upset him? In some ways might that be a form of inverse racism? He wanted to be of a fairly pure origin from where he felt he belongs? 
    There was a couple on tv yesterday, they are both famous actors here.. the guy always believed his family originated from Ireland... as did hers.. someone looked into it for him and found that his family originally came from England and migrated to Ireland 400 years ago.. settled there and there was a whole branch there still ... I think he was a little disappointed to lose his Irish heritage. 
      August 10, 2018 12:21 PM MDT
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  • 6023

    Exactly my thinking.

    Quote: " he was surprised to find out the wide range of regions of the world from which he descended, such to the point that he was actually disappointed "

    It sounds like he was disappointed to have ancestors that weren't as "pure" as he expected.

    You're right (Randy), that we don't know him ... so just going off what you wrote.  Sorry if I misinterpreted the sentence.

    Personally, I'll be interested to find out if my ancestry isn't as English/German as my parents genealogy research says.
    I mean, I know science currently says we all came from Africa originally.

      August 10, 2018 1:07 PM MDT
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  • 7939
    For what it's worth, I also initially pondered the same. Then, I considered my own heritage. I grew up being told I was half Polish. I learned Polish, ate Polish foods, learned to appreciate polka. My Irish heritage was also a big influencer. We celebrated St. Paddy's Day, I learned to love folk music, and I learned to do jigs and stuff. I don't know how I'd feel if I found out that wasn't accurate- that the cultures I've been identifying with my whole life aren't really mine. I'd expect to see some African DNA in a test, but the bulk of it should come from those areas. Anything else would probably make me sad because I'm quite proud of the ancestry I believe is mine.
      August 10, 2018 3:32 PM MDT
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  • 6023
    More ancestral ethnicity just mean more excuses to party.  :)
      August 10, 2018 3:38 PM MDT
    3

  • 53529

      Both Walt and Daydream, I interpret calling someone a racist to be 100% negative, so if you, Walt, meant it in any other way, I cannot imagine what it would be. As you have now stated, perhaps a different word might better express what you meant, and I appreciate that. I will admit that I don't fully understand why my buddy is so down on having learned (learnt for the British) these things about his background, I just respect his opinion on the subject. I also know that it's strengthened my resolve in not seeking the same for my own history.

    ~
      August 10, 2018 8:41 PM MDT
    1

  • 2658
    B1. If you don't think you'll do it, why not?
      August 10, 2018 9:58 AM MDT
    7

  • 10026
    I luv ya Beans!!
    You have such a way with words! 
    :D! :D!
      August 10, 2018 10:20 AM MDT
    4

  • 10026
    What a well thought out and explicit question.  I like the fact you put your answers in with your questions.  A very good asking attack, if I do say so myself.
    A.  Personally, no.
    B.  This is a big one but no.
    B1.  It's extremely fascinating. I hope this doesn't sound selfish but I don't believe it will help or change who I am nor how I feel in the "Now."
    C.  N/A
    C1.  N/A
    D.  N/A
    E.  I would not recommend this search if you are looking for excuses for your own behaviors.  There are certain things we are all hard-wired for.  Behavior is learned not passed down. Do not look for your ancestors if you plan on being sad about them.  We are all descendants of someone and what they did with their lives was concurrent with the struggles and victories given to them in that time slot.  They may have been a superstar or had some hardships.  You can't change the past. 
     
    In addition to your well-landscaped question, I would like to join another train of thought with yours. Knowing me as you and many do, I am not an angry or paranoid person.  This is not high-alert but another aspect to ponder before going through the hopefulness and anxiety of doing an ancestry search.
    I am on the grid.  I am a law-abiding citizen and glad I am in this time and space.  There are people and companies that cannot sing that same tune.
    I just wonder why I would give a complete stranger through a box that sits on my kitchen table all the information I know about my family and their information and so on down the line.  Since I don't know, they could tell me anything and I might believe it.  Because they have a bigger data base doesn't really give them the interest in me at all.  If it does, why?  Why don't they just look it up themselves?  Is this a scam?  If so, it is gigantic.  We all have that need to know where we are from and why we are the way we are.  That IS hard-wired in all of us.  Sometimes I question why do they want to know and how do I know they are telling the truth?  I can't prove it either way. 
    All-in-all, I'm glad I know what I do.  I'm happy my ancestors had their successes and sorry for their woes as I'm sure they would be for me.  My ancestry stops with me.  My sister and I both chose not to have children.  Dons stopped with him also.  He was an only child.  There are some traits both our families gave to us and for that I am grateful.  I am also grateful many of my friends had children.  I think my friends are smart and we need to carry-on the smart genes.  Even though my ancestry dies with me, I hope I have passed some wisdom to others along the way. This post was edited by Merlin at August 10, 2018 1:58 PM MDT
      August 10, 2018 10:19 AM MDT
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  • 53529

      Wow, that's a great point, one I never considered at all. It's entirely possible that a for-profit company would or could blow smoke when providing test "results"!
    ~
      August 10, 2018 11:21 AM MDT
    3

  • 10026
    All they need is a little direction you give them and they will come up with anything viable.  A friend of mine did it for her mom, daughter and son.  They all came back different.  Funny since her son and her daughter had the same father.... I'm not saying it is bad or does not satisfy that "itch" we all have.  I am saying, be cautious before you do and think about what really is happening.  
    Just trying to look out for your best interest before dumping $65 per person and your life history to someone whom you will never meet.  I don't mean to cast a shadow of doubt and  I do want you to be happy with your results.  I hope I am wrong and it is all good. :) :)
      August 10, 2018 11:47 AM MDT
    5

  • 53529

      It's almost like those fakers who say to the audience, "I'm sensing that there is someone here who has a five-dollar bill, an aspirin and two pieces of chewing gum in his or her possession," or the fortune tellers who say, "You recently had a relative who was very sick, and an old friend of yours contacted after a long absence".  
    ~
      August 10, 2018 11:53 AM MDT
    3

  • 10026
    Sorry.  I didn't mean to repeat myself, twice.  That is repeating myself again, and again, isn't it?  Giggles on me!!!
      August 10, 2018 12:20 PM MDT
    3

  • 11114
    From what I understand,  the accuracy depends on how much data they have on each region. Apparently those people seeking to find out where in Africa they came from are the most likely to get questionable results.
      August 11, 2018 11:23 AM MDT
    0

  • 10664
    A - yes

    B & B1 - n/a

    C - both
    C1 - lineage tracing through family records/family members (when they were alive)

    D - mid 1800's (physical documentation/ phots, "stories").  Results were so-so.  Already had some suspicion as to where I'd "originated" (1400's or so) and it was confirmed.  However, how some of the trace ethnicities that were intermixed since then would probably make for some interesting stories.

    E - No matter what, take it all with a grain of salt.  
    - Medical situations only work for current relatives as pre-1900 they had no clue why someone got sick or cause of death (save "being executed" or "shot in the head").  Nearly all death certificates are inconclusive. 
    - DNA results don't say much (am I related to royalty?  Am I related to Bill Gates and so entitled to a share of his estate?), only want you have in your background (even those are sketchy).  It can't tell you when a particular "ethnicity" came into the gene line (or which parent introduced it).   Nor can it tell you why it was introduced (rape, promiscuity, arranged marriage, forbidden love).   
    - You are related to nearly every ethnicity on the face of the earth somewhere back in your lineage. 
      August 10, 2018 10:30 AM MDT
    4

  • 17620
    My brother is the family tree guy.

    I will never get DNA lab work through a genealogy outfit.  PLEASE read the terms before you sign anything and before you send them your sample.  People have no idea what they give up with the likes of Ancestry.com.   NO WAY NO HOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Gifting these products is down right _____________________ (you pick your own negative adjective).


    This post was edited by Thriftymaid at August 10, 2018 1:39 PM MDT
      August 10, 2018 11:32 AM MDT
    2

  • A. Have you researched your own family tree? 
    Yes. I have.

    C. If so, did you do it through DNA testing, or through other methods, or through both? 
    Other methods.

    C1. Which other methods? 
    I contacted a company called Halbert's Family Heritage.

    D. If you've already done it, how far back in history were you able to trace (what year), and what was your impression of the results?
    The two gentlemen that complied the book I received were able to trace our ancestry back as far as 1578 to Durham County, Durham, England. I was quite impressed with the amount and quality of the material I received. Being as it went back to England, it also included a detailed package about the family Coat of Arms which I found quite interesting.

    E. In which situations would you recommend and in which situations would you not recommend someone researching their family history?
    I wouldn't recommend this type of research to anyone who suspected restraining orders might be found in their ancestry. :))
      August 10, 2018 11:42 AM MDT
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  • 53529

      The coat of arms angle is certainly the icing on the cake, in my opinion. By the way, frivolous restraining orders don't count, do they?
    ~
      August 10, 2018 12:09 PM MDT
    3

  • Well ... I'm not an authority on the subject of restraining orders, but I do know of someone that could straighten you out on the matter. :)
      August 10, 2018 12:17 PM MDT
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  • 6477
    Coo you like making us work for our answers don't you? 

    A. Have you researched your own family tree?

    No

    B. If not, do you think you ever will?
    B1. If you don't think you'll do it, why not?

    Too lazy and too busy.. My son once had a fiancee who did some research for me.. 

    C. If so, did you do it through DNA testing, or through other methods, or through both?
    C1. Which other methods?

    N/A but I would albeit with the same caveat as above.


    E. In which situations would you recommend and in which situations would you not recommend someone researching their family history?

    I couldn't imagine anyone I know being upset at what they found.. the advert here shows a man seemingly of Jamaican origin finding out he is from somewhere else entirely.. I wonder how accurate it all is as in how it's determined.. but the man seemed happy about it on the ad.. and I can't imagine why anyone would mind.. but perhaps I am wrong about that. 

    This post was edited by Adaydreambeliever at August 11, 2018 5:52 AM MDT
      August 10, 2018 12:11 PM MDT
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  • 44656
    Huh? Lazy and busy?
      August 11, 2018 5:53 AM MDT
    1

  • 6477
    Well yes, I can see how that could be a contradiction :P Busy, always, far too much to do... and little time.. but if I had time, I suspect I would be too lazy and not really bothered enough to look into it.. 

    FWIW it might be relatively, (get it!) interesting... my grandfather was French-Canadian, (I gather they aren't always popular) my dad was adopted and my mum's mum came from London, a cockney (well almost). 
      August 11, 2018 6:40 AM MDT
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  • 44656
    My mother's ancestry (thus mine) was traced back to Russia for my grandmother. A distant cousin researched the family back to the 1870s in Russia. It is a thirty page document and quite well done. (She got my birth date wrong.)  There is little information about my grandfather, other than he was also from Russia and was in the US Marine corps in 1918.  I could go on and on, but I think I answered you question.
    Like you, I know nothing of my sperm donor's lineage and don't want to.
    I, personally, did not do any research.
      August 10, 2018 1:50 PM MDT
    2