Well that's an interesting question... and the jury's still out.. in counselling they say that one doesn't need to have been through something to try to put oneself in the other's shoes and to imagine how they might feel.. they also say that if one has been through a similar experience, then one has an added insight..BUT that we shouldn't imagine that our experience of going through something is the same as others.. and if we haven'f fully dealt with the experience ourselves then we can just make things worse, projecting our feelings and perspectives on others.. A long way of saying, I don't really know.. I think you can understand to some extent but you should totally avoid thinking you really do understand everything
I am a student counsellor... I think because I have had to study it I have become a walking book and repository of text book replies :P But in truth I believe it... I feel it, I think it and feel it.. They say that one should not put on a mask when we go into counsellor mode.. it should be part of us... I hope that will be so of me as being honest and genuine is important to me.
Just because two people share the same experience, doesn't mean they'll understand each other.
As an example: school shootings. Some people who have experienced that, want to further restrict firearms from everybody (including law-abiding citizens). Other people who have experienced that, say it shows a need for more firearms in the possession of law-abiding citizens.
While both sides have valid arguments, the extreme believers on both sides won't even attempt to understand the other viewpoint.
Zack 