Ethanol has a boiling point of 78.4C (173.1F), so provided that the cooking temperature is higher than that, no problem - the alcohol boils away and leaves the flavour behind. Wine trifle is a no-no - that isn't heated.
Only if you actually cook it (as in boiling temp) will the alcohol dissipate. I would not do use it, myself. The left over taste could be a trigger for your dinner partner.
In my experience, there are different kinds of alcoholics. Some for psychological reasons, some for physiological reasons, and some for environmental reasons. The worst thing that can happen to a physiological alcoholic is for them to take in any alcohol. It triggers a change in their brain chemistry, resulting in what they call "the phenomenon of craving." The taste of non-alcoholic wine could trigger a psychological desire to drink in the psychological alcoholic but would most likely not have any adverse affects on someone who is an alcoholic for external, environmental reasons.
