Active Now

Element 99
my2cents
Discussion » Questions » Relationships » Do you find it easier to get into a personal relationship with someone when the age difference between the two of you is large or small?
Benedict Arnold

Do you find it easier to get into a personal relationship with someone when the age difference between the two of you is large or small?

At 46, I find it easier when the age difference is at least 10 years either way, even closer to 20. I know it's weird, and often wonder if there are others in a similar predicament. 

Posted - October 24, 2018
Tags : None

Responses


  • 13277
    My first wife was 11 years my junior, although our marriage lasted only three years, and my current spouse is 15 years younger, so I guess that answers your question.
      October 24, 2018 6:43 PM MDT
    3

  • Thank you. Had you found it difficult to relate to someone closer to your own age? 
      October 24, 2018 6:48 PM MDT
    1

  • 13277
    No, those are just two of maybe five women across my 58+ years with whom I formed my closest relationships.
      October 24, 2018 7:19 PM MDT
    2

  • It's so reassuring to learn that at 58 you've been in only five relationships. I thought I was weird for being close to 47 and having been in only four. 
      October 24, 2018 7:27 PM MDT
    1

  • 13277
    About five close ones, but I never married until 44 the first time and 54 the second, so I dated a lot more than I believe many people do.
      October 24, 2018 7:39 PM MDT
    2

  • I find it easier to remain single and have an occasional spouse for the night.  My place is run like a motel, out by 10 a.m., no thinking you've found your lot in life. :P
      October 24, 2018 6:58 PM MDT
    3

  • I find younger people have more of an open mind toward things. They are more willing to explore ideas regardless of where they take them. People my age tend to be more set on their ways and their ideas seem rooted in concrete, which makes conversations .   . boring I suppose.
      October 24, 2018 8:20 PM MDT
    3

  • 7939
    I'm more comfortable/ drawn to men who are older than me. The age gap I prefer has grown some as I've aged. When I was younger, it was usually 3-5 years. Nowadays, it's usually a minimum of 10. The upper limit varies. I think I generally max out at 15 or so, but there are exceptions up to a 30+ year age gap.

    I can't date younger men. I've tried. They annoy me. They just aren't in the same place as me and are still kind of all over the place figuring out who they are and what they want. I don't have the patience for that. I think part of it is that I had my son so young. I was only 15 when he was born. So, if we start hitting a 10-year age gap or so and the man is younger than me, I still kind of see him as a child. Too close to my son's age for me to see him as any kind of potential partner.

    Men closer to my age don't bug me in the same way, but it's also rare that I feel any kind of attraction to them. 
      October 24, 2018 11:24 PM MDT
    4

  • Lovely answer!
      October 25, 2018 12:05 AM MDT
    2

  • 16781
    I never dated anyone much more than a year's difference - and tended to be attracted to girls slightly older than myself. My wife is a year and sixteen days older than me, we've been been together thirty years. 
      October 25, 2018 2:02 AM MDT
    3

  • 6098
    Generally easier with other boomers because we comprehend one another.  Younger people I can enjoy and talk with and work with but they don't "get" me - Just as the way they think does not often make sense to me. 
      October 25, 2018 5:32 AM MDT
    4

  • I've almost always dated someone at least a few years younger than me. But it's really not about age. If someone possesses the qualities I'm looking for (being open minded, compassionate and intelligent, for starters) then I'm not so concerned about the age factor. 
      October 25, 2018 7:49 AM MDT
    4

  • 22891
    it dont nnatter since guys arent interested in nne anyways
      October 25, 2018 3:06 PM MDT
    1

  • Do you live alone? 
      October 26, 2018 3:59 PM MDT
    2

  • 22891
    yes
      October 26, 2018 4:42 PM MDT
    0

  • 952
    I've always felt attracted towards women who are elder than me to 5-10-15 years may be to be more precise. I do remember when I was in college I had a crush on my HRM Professor not because she was beautiful (she was not that beautiful) but due to her personality and conduct any many other featured that I was finding attractive.. You have lot of things to talk about when age gap is large..
      October 26, 2018 1:58 PM MDT
    3

  • 53509

      You used the phrase "personal relationship"; are we to assume that friendships are included in that?

      I've been married for what seems like centuries, so I haven't been on the prowl in forever, but when I was single, I didn't actively seek out women who were a lot younger than myself.  Mind you, there were also legalities involved, because when I was in my early 20s, "younger than myself" only entailed a 1-year or 2-year difference.  Conversely, during that same time period, I did not actively restrict myself from seeking out women who were much older than myself, but to be fair, they were not really interested in a guy in his early 20s.  As such, the overall age difference was within five years either way.  Another caveat is that I wasn't seeking marriage nor long-term commitment, so age wasn't a strict requirement with me.

      When I met the woman who would become my wife, age wasn't an enormous factor to me, because it was her personality that attracted me.

      On the subject of friendships (non-sexual, not based on gender), I've usually maintained those within that same 5-year either way difference.

    ~





      October 26, 2018 10:44 PM MDT
    1

  • 510
    For me age has never been a parameter for relationship. It all depends on how the person is. I mean you can never predict one's maturity level by his or her age. Sometimes someone much younger than you may have at par maturity and vice versa.
      November 1, 2018 12:31 PM MDT
    2

  • 46117
    Well, I do think it is important to have people of similar ages and backgrounds, just so you can have a touchstone of what others your age may think.  It is healthy to bounce off of your peers.

    That said, the body a person is inhabiting is not the deal-breaker.  Imagine if we only stuck with one type of individual to "hang" or "grow" or just work with and get to know.

    That is what experience is.  That is the gift our fellow humans impart each and every time we interact with one another.  We are not our ego.  Other people remind me of this valuable lesson on a daily basis.

    Man is a family.  No soul is disconnected on the spiritual level.

    This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at November 1, 2018 6:27 PM MDT
      November 1, 2018 12:37 PM MDT
    1