Ah the days when such choices were that simple! OK this is what it is - husbands can be lovers too if you are doing it right? - I am married to my husband and we live together so it is the same place. No other lovers come to our place unless my husband is OK with that which he is only under certain circumstances such as when we swap with another couple. All others I meet at their place if they are single or their wife knows about it and is OK with it or if she does not and is not we go to a motel.