Why do some people seem to think that salt = flavor and that more salt = better flavor? Grrrrr.
Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings with horned helmets on. A man and his wife enter.
Man (Eric Idle): You sit here, dear.
Wife (Graham Chapman in drag): All right.
Man (to Waitress): Morning!
Waitress (Terry Jones, in drag as a bit of a rat-bag): Morning!
Vikings (starting to chant): Salt salt salt salt...
Vikings (singing): Salt! Lovely salt! Lovely salt!
Wife: Have you got anything without salt?
Waitress: Well, there's salt egg sausage and salt, that's not got much salt in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY salt!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon salt and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got salt in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much salt in it as salt egg sausage and salt, has it?
Vikings: Salt salt salt salt (crescendo through next few lines)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon salt and sausage without the salt then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like salt!
Vikings: Lovely salt! Wonderful salt!
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely salt! Wonderful salt!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon salt and sausage without the salt.
Wife (shrieks): I don't like salt!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your salt. I love it. I'm having salt salt salt salt salt salt salt baked beans salt salt salt and salt!
Vikings (singing): Salt salt salt salt. Lovely salt! Wonderful salt!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her salt instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean salt salt salt salt salt salt... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings (singing elaborately): Salt salt salt salt. Lovely salt! Wonderful salt! Salt spa-a-a-a-a-am salt spa-a-a-a-a-am salt. Lovely salt! Lovely salt! Lovely salt! Lovely salt! Lovely salt! Salt salt salt salt!