Its weird, my ex was very abusive and i left. I was told that he is already seeing someone else after a week and a half. I dont know why but i feel really angry and hurt. I think its unfair that they got to move on already. We have a baby together, so its even harder for me because i dont ever want to trust another man into my life. I just feel like maybe i should be happy, am i having selfish feelings? any tips on how to get over and move on myself?
Hi sweetie, wow that's a tough situation you're in. Congrats on your baby ahhhh! Congrats on leaving!!! That takes a very strong woman to do that especially with a baby. Of course it's going to hurt that he "moved on" (it's a rebound) so fast, even though you had the logic to get out your feelings aren't just going to turn off. When you're ready, which may take years you will one day be ready to be open to a new relationship and trust another man. For now be selfish for you and your baby. ((HUGS))
My mother had 3 kids, no money, and father left us for a woman he had been seeing for years. Of course, he took the new car with him. Mother managed to get a business school education and a solid job. We had housing provided by our grandparents. After a few years, mother bought a modest home. Although she was only about 30 at the time, she never dated again. (She is still alive at age 86) Revenge is hers------- the woman that father cheated with got Alzheimer's soon after they started living together.
God is probably protecting you from a terrible life with an abusive man. Childrens brains don't grow when they witness Domestic violence (the brains are smaller 12-18 years later)
You look like a beautiful person. Believe me there are many men who are looking for a girl to spoil who wont abuse you and would love your child too.
But for now just take really good care of yourself, walk daily, eat nutritiously, love your child, get close to God. Good things are happening in your life.
It is a standard defense mechanism we all have. When somebody leave/betray/hurt us and there is nothing we can do about it we say "He will regret it" in the back of our head. Then on discovering he does not regret it, we feel betrayed all over again. It is not very logical, but it is very human.
Best thing you can do is to 'get over it' yourself. That is easier said than done, but here is a couple of Do's and dont's:
1) Do unusual things in new places.
2) Dont try to replace him with someone else.
3) Get involved in some sport or other leisure activity. I can be most anything, Football, Skydiving, Golf, Embroidering ducks on pillows, ...
In a word, I get over it by forgiveness. Forgiveness isn't for the forgiven as much as for the forgiver. It helps to know that life, Karma, Divine retribution or whatever else you wish to call it has an amazingly inexorable tendency to even out the score when/where it truly needs to be evened.
There was a time in my life when I was EXTREMELY vindictive but, after the way I saw 'life' dispense justice to a person who had once betrayed me, I gave up such destructive notions out of a combination of fear and awe. Now, I'm perfectly content to let the Universe dictate the curriculum in other people's continuing education.
from my experience, you have to live with these feelings, it's hard but you will be used to it. Carry on living as usual and meditate to appease yourself.
if you still can't, try to find someone to talk to, like a professional, they will advise better than me.
If I am/was able to help you in any way, I rejoice! Here's hoping that simple lesson doesn't cost you as much as it did me. :-)
Maybe by getting a sheet of paper and dividing it into the pros and cons of the relationship. On the con side you could start by listing the abuses and on the pro side list the nice things he done (if there are any), Then hang the paper on the fridge and each morning look at it and hopefully think that your day is going to be better without him. Cheers!
I'm sorry you are hurting, but the fact that he is seeing someone within a week should tell you you did the right thing for sure. It's best for babies to be born to people who have made a strong lifetime commitment to each other but it doesn't always work out that way. You seem strong. Your are a mother now so your life is not about you anymore; it's about building a strong financially stable home for your child and your child's wellbeing. Your life belongs to her. Children need a mother and father. You will have to be both. That is hard. I wish you well.
Date Mr. Z. Or at least Mr. Y. Or maybe you need to not date anyone for awhile and just like being U.
That's good ((HUGS))
It sounds like your ex just doesn't like being ALONE. That IS one of the reasons both men AND women go so quickly from one relationship to another in a short period of time.
Of course you are feeling bad and betrayed. But, it is best to take time just for you and your child together alone. Make memories both of you will cherish.
Get to really know what you deserve and really are important to you. That way YOU will not settle for whoever just happens to come into your life. Get to enjoy you!
My best to you
Excellent post Jeep... 
And good luck Caryn Alonso..I cant add anything more to that.. Jeep's post said it all :)
:-)
