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Discussion » Questions » Human Behavior » Have you ever, as an adult, felt obliged to apologize for some of your teen-aged/young adult years' actions?

Have you ever, as an adult, felt obliged to apologize for some of your teen-aged/young adult years' actions?


I don't intend this as a political question/partisan question -- but, lately, I admit I sometimes tire of hearing politicians apologizing for everything.


My question was inspired from the article I'll post below, about O'Rourke -- both of the things for which he apologized ( a comment about he and his wife's child raising and some of his writings as a teenager) seem incredibly innocuous to me. I realize some people have done some questionable things -- but, being one who apologizes too much, I shake my head a bit as I watch fellow humans feeling they must apologize for every little thing.

Oh, I need to apologize now -- as a youngster, I drew a huge amount of illustrations and images from the 1968 "Night of the Living Dead" movie. And vampires. They were all gruesome.
And, as a young teen, I once wrote a short story about a woman, in a large castle, slowly drawn into madness and death while hearing a constant sound of someone's constant footsteps outside her room late at night. She lost her mind and was literally scared to death. The footsteps she heard were actually the sound of a metronome someone had left on. 






"Democratic presidential contender Beto O’Rourke on Friday acknowledged making mistakes as a teen and as a candidate, responding to criticism of his campaign rhetoric toward his wife as well as writings he produced online when he was young.

During a taping of the “Political Party Live” podcast in Cedar Rapids, he addressed criticism of his campaign-trail joke that his wife, Amy, has raised their three kids “sometimes with my help.” O’Rourke made the comment at multiple campaign stops during his first swing through Iowa, including earlier Friday, eliciting laughs each time, but he also drew criticism as being insensitive to the challenges faced by single parents raising children.

O’Rourke said the criticism of his “ham-handed” attempt to highlight his wife’s work in their marriage was “right on.”

“Not only will I not say that again, but I will be much more thoughtful in the ways that I talk about my marriage,” he said.

O’Rourke, 46, also said he was “mortified” when he reread the violent fiction he wrote as a teen, which received fresh attention Friday after a Reuters report outlined his involvement in a hacker group as a teen. O’Rourke wrote a handful of posts on the group’s message board under the name “Psychedelic Warlord,” including a fictional piece he penned when he was 15 about children getting run over by a car.

“I’m mortified to read it now, incredibly embarrassed, but I have to take ownership of my words,” he said. “Whatever my intention was as a teenager doesn’t matter, I have to look long and hard at my actions, at the language I have used, and I have to constantly try to do better.”

O’Rourke had said after an earlier campaign stop that it was “stuff I was part of as a teenager.”

“It’s not anything I’m proud of today, and I mean, that’s — that’s the long and short of it,” he said. “All I can do is my best, which is what I’m trying to do. I can’t control anything I’ve done in the past. I can only control what I do going forward and what I plan to do is give this my best.”

The comments came on the second day of a presidential campaign in which O’Rourke is seeking to establish himself as a unique voice in the race. He avoided what has become something of a tradition among the 2020 contenders by refusing to announce how much money he raised in the 24 hours after announcing his candidacy. He said it would be soon.

“I don’t have a definite plan,” he added. “We’re not ready to release them now.”

The former Texas congressman entered the 2020 presidential race Thursday after months of speculation. He raised an eye-popping $80 million in grassroots donations last year in his failed U.S. Senate race in Texas against Republican Ted Cruz, all while largely avoiding money from political action committees. His early fundraising numbers will be an initial signal of whether his popularity during the Senate campaign will carry over to his White House bid.

So far, Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders has set the pace for grassroots donations in 2020, pulling in $6 million during his first day as a candidate.

Asked if he thought he would top Sanders, O’Rourke said only, “We’ll see.”

O’Rourke’s reception during his first Iowa swing was overwhelmingly positive, even as he launched his campaign by hitting a handful of counties that had shifted from supporting Democrat Barack Obama to backing Republican Donald Trump during the 2016 campaign.

Most of the towns O’Rourke visited during his first two days in the state were small and rural, manufacturing or farming towns. He kicked off his bid in Keokuk, population 10,300, dropped by a private home in Fairfield, a town about the same size, and jumped atop a coffee shop counter to address the crowd in Mount Pleasant, population 8,500.

The strategy set O’Rourke apart from the rest of the field, many of whom have focused their early swings on the state’s population centers or on the traditionally blue counties that make up the bulk of the Democratic primary electorate.

Norm Sterzenbach, who’s advising O’Rourke in Iowa, said the strategy came out of the Texan’s desire to do more intimate events in his first swing through Iowa.

“He didn’t want to do big rallies or big events. He wanted to get into communities and really talk to Iowans, and he wanted to go to smaller towns, smaller communities, and . places that had been neglected” by politicians, he said.

It was an approach reminiscent of his Texas Senate bid, where O’Rourke hit every one of the state’s 254 counties, even the most rural areas, some of which hadn’t been visited by Democratic candidates in years. O’Rourke didn’t commit to visiting all of Iowa’s 99 counties — what’s locally known as the “Full Grassley,” after Iowa’s senior Republican senator, Chuck Grassley, who’s famous for doing the full swing — but he said he planned to visit as much of Iowa as possible.

That go-everywhere, speak-to-everyone strategy brought him within 3 points of defeating Cruz in Texas, the nation’s largest red state."

Posted - March 16, 2019

Responses



  • Oddly, the older I get, the less apologetic I become in regards to my past.  I feel that I am entitled to most youthful indiscretions.  It is all part of the steep learning curve we are on from the moment we spill forth.  My past is made up of both the savory and the distasteful.  It is all part of the recipe of who I am.  I take greater issue with adults who refuse any mea culpa in regards to their misdeeds of the present.  They know better.  The young in their naivety...not so much.  Without making our mistakes, how would we ever learn?
      March 16, 2019 4:43 PM MDT
    5

  • Preach brother, Preah
      March 16, 2019 5:18 PM MDT
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  • Image result for amen gif
      March 16, 2019 6:27 PM MDT
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  • 23577
    Yes.
    Thanks, Twinkle Dink. 
    :)

    Running late -- I know this was a short reply. Off to work --  This post was edited by WelbyQuentin at March 20, 2019 11:23 AM MDT
      March 17, 2019 4:17 AM MDT
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  • I have made many transgressions throughout my years and a handful of those were egregious enough for me to recoil in horror that I was the perpetrator.
     
    I am choosing not to say say what those are because I have already answered for my sins to those I have wronged. 
     
    Now comes Beto... I can more than readily forgive him for things he wrote as a young man. O'Rourke is not my first choice for candidate, but he is being smeared. His critics did not hold Donald Trump, Kavanaugh, or Doug Moore to task for their words or behavior, so there is enough hypocrisy to go around.
     
    Bernie Sanders himself was the target of a public smear for a piece he wrote as a college student, as well. 
     
    If I were to reveal my past, I would be strung up by my nuts and flogged
    This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at March 18, 2019 3:51 PM MDT
      March 16, 2019 4:51 PM MDT
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  • Prepare for your flogging.  I know what you did last summer.  LOL!


      March 16, 2019 5:04 PM MDT
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  • Ooooo Teach me how to be a good boy

    This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at March 17, 2019 2:47 PM MDT
      March 16, 2019 5:18 PM MDT
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  • 44619
    Got an error message.
      March 20, 2019 11:25 AM MDT
    0

  • 23577
    I don't know why - - for some reason I feel like getting flogged, too.
    :)
      March 17, 2019 4:23 AM MDT
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  • Let's have a Circle-Flog!
      March 17, 2019 2:41 PM MDT
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  • Sounds fun but if we bring too many guys on board
    we'll have to get Element 99 to referee.  LOL!
      March 17, 2019 2:47 PM MDT
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  • 23577
    I'm here. 
    I'm ready.

    Image result for hot man anticipating
      March 17, 2019 6:19 PM MDT
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  • 23577
    Yes!
      March 17, 2019 6:20 PM MDT
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  • 23577
    Me, too, most likely.
    Thanks, Judas Goat.
    :)

    I know it's  short reply -- I'm off to work now -- This post was edited by WelbyQuentin at March 20, 2019 11:25 AM MDT
      March 17, 2019 4:19 AM MDT
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  • 44619
    Hey you two...get a room.
      March 16, 2019 5:24 PM MDT
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  • 5391
    No, I’ve never found any cause to apologize for wrongdoing years after the fact, and I don’t see what benefit there would be now. 
    But then, I’m not contending for public office in this era of #MeToo/PC, nor have I ever faced a parole board.
    Nor is either in my immediate future. 

    I’ve done plenty that I regret, but none so heinous as to haunt my conscience, or be responsible to someone else for. It is what it is, no amount of contrition changes the past. 

    As for O’Rourke, he’s a grown man, he’s doing what he thinks he has to do. I can respect that. 

      March 16, 2019 8:00 PM MDT
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  • 23577
    Yes, good points.
    I admit I thought his comment about he and his wife was funny. I knew he meant no harm.
    I don't know -- it's too early probably for me to try to think.
    to work I go.
    Thanks, Don Barzini.
    :)


    This post was edited by WelbyQuentin at March 19, 2019 9:24 PM MDT
      March 17, 2019 4:22 AM MDT
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  • 44619
    Yes...I was messing around in my high school chemistry class and out of boredom I did something that messed up the teacher's lab coat. It was harmless and she didn't know who did it. Later in life I wanted to apologize, but she had already passed.
      March 17, 2019 3:11 PM MDT
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  • 23577
    Since posting my question, I've since thought of some similar types of things of which I may not have specifically "done" but, a serious one, I did not stick up enough for the guy getting picked on a lot in school. So many students picked on him -- he ended up killing himself in ninth grade. I think of him often and so wish I had done more for him directly.
      March 17, 2019 6:16 PM MDT
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  • 7939
    Yes. There are some things that are simply a rite of passage. When you're a kid, you do dumb things and not all those dumb things cause harm. However, there were occasions when I wasn't necessarily kind to people or when I didn't take their feelings into consideration. Those things tend to stick with people more than others. So, when Facebook became popular, I did send out a few notes to people I hand't been the nicest too. Not one of them remembered things the way I did and they all said the apology was unnecessary. I can't say whether they were just being gracious or if they were never really bothered by it, but I felt better having cleared the air. 
      March 18, 2019 3:58 PM MDT
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  • 23577
    Yes.
    Good.
      March 20, 2019 5:56 AM MDT
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  • 44619
    Before I retired, I apologized for something I did or said. To this day I can't think of what I had done. When I apologized she didn't remember the incident.
      March 20, 2019 11:28 AM MDT
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  • 6098
    Most of what I said or did back then, if I thought it was not right,  I apologized for at the time.  Which people seemed cool with.  All the better as I know very few of them any longer.  I apologized to my parents for the heartache and worry I caused them but the damage that had been done by then was irreversible.  And to my child I aborted when I was 19.  Which I can never be right about. All the more because I never had children of my own.

    In this day and age people   seem to look for whatever they can dig up to discredit you even if it was something you did when you were 18! That is what politics has become - discredit and discredit.  Which is too bad.  So yes you are going to have to apologize for anything you think people might judge you negatively for in running for office.  Whether you choose to or not.  
      March 20, 2019 6:35 AM MDT
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  • 23577
    Thanks for answering, officegirl.
    Yeah, and your second paragraph especially. Like I said in my question, I realize we've all done things in our past that we may regret. 
    But, in this case, O'Rourke writing some violent fiction in his younger years? And his (funny-to-me) comment about his wife raising their kids "sometimes with his help" - - it was obvious to me he was referring to his busy away-from-home schedule while campaigning and/or doing his job. And for him to then feel so obligated to so profusely apologize for those two things? To me (and me, someone who apologizes WAY too much in my life) those are two things he need not have offered apology. But, yeah, it seems it's important for people to potentially discredit other people (and not just politicians).
    In no way am I saying "anything goes" -- there are indeed some things that need to maybe be known -- but, I don't know, sometimes it seems silly to me.

    I'm rambling again.
    :)
      March 20, 2019 11:05 AM MDT
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