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Discussion » Questions » Relationships » "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Is it really? Is it ... REALLY?

"It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Is it really? Is it ... REALLY?

Posted - April 27, 2019

Responses


  • 976
    It is. I spent all of my young adult years and into my forties not knowing love and being married the entire time. Once divorced, I found love. Real love and it has changed my life for the better. I'm the type of person that needs to love and be loved and my husband is just like me.

    If I would not have landed where I did more than 10 years ago, I would be a raging alcoholic or dead. For some reason, that was where I was headed because of extreme depression. 

    I almost lost him in 2017 due to health issues. After two surgeries and a lot of healing, he is better. I will never ever take for granted the loving relationship I have with him and there is nothing better than being loved by him. NOTHING.
      April 27, 2019 7:09 PM MDT
    6

  • At what age did you find true love?
      April 27, 2019 7:14 PM MDT
    2

  • 976
    I was 42 when he found me. And that is a long, beautiful and strange story. It wasn't until I was about 45 when I accepted his gift. He is the one that protected our relationship. No crazy, late night drunk sex. Because he wasn't after that. He wanted me to be me when I felt comfortable. He wanted to look at me in my eyes and know that I was looking at him. I felt like damaged goods when to him, I was the woman he had prayed for. 

    This short paragraph is just that. There is so much more to say, but, I don't want to waste anyone's time and write a novel.
      April 27, 2019 7:35 PM MDT
    5

  • "He wanted to look at me in my eyes and know that I was looking at him."
    What a lovely way you've put it! 
      April 27, 2019 7:40 PM MDT
    3

  • 976
    Even now, he will touch my chin to get me to look at him when he's telling me something about myself that he finds beautiful that I don't believe. And I think I have patience. 
      April 27, 2019 7:59 PM MDT
    3

  • They never did that to me. Perhaps because I was older; in one case, much older. 
      April 27, 2019 8:04 PM MDT
    2

  • 976
    My man is very unique. But, we (he and I) have had this discussion more than once. If we are the same and he found me, then there has to be more like us out there. You will find him or, he, you. I can only hope you find true happiness and love. 
      April 27, 2019 8:20 PM MDT
    1

  • Thank you, Jolene. I'm giving myself a break from men for some time, unless one comes along by happenstance. 
      April 27, 2019 8:27 PM MDT
    2

  • 53037




    "WHAT IS LOVE" by Haddaway, 1993.

    Lyrics:

    What is love?
    Baby don't hurt me
    Don't hurt me
    No more
    Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me
    No more
    What is love?
    Yeah
    I don't know why you're not fair
    I give you my love, but you don't care
    So what is right and what is wrong?
    Gimme a sign
    What is love?
    Baby don't hurt me
    Don't hurt me
    No more
    What is love?
    Baby don't hurt me
    Don't hurt me
    No more
    Oh, I don't know, what can I do?
    What else can I say, it's up to you
    I know we're one, just me and you
    I can't go on
    What is love?
    Baby don't hurt me
    Don't hurt me
    No more
    What is love?
    Baby don't hurt me
    Don't hurt me
    No more
    What is love?
    What is love?
    What is love?
    Baby don't hurt me
    Don't hurt me
    No more
    Don't hurt me
    Don't hurt me
    I want no other, no other lover
    This is our life, our time
    We are together I need you forever
    Is it love?
    What is love?
    Baby don't hurt me
    Don't hurt me
    No more
    What is love?
    Baby don't hurt me
    Don't hurt me
    No more
    Yeah, yeah, (woah-woah-woah, oh, oh)
    (Woah-woah-woah, oh, oh)
    What is love?
    Baby don't hurt me
    Don't hurt me
    No more
    What is love?
    Baby don't hurt me
    Don't hurt me
    No more
    Baby don't hurt me
    Don't hurt me
    No more
    Baby don't hurt me
    Don't hurt me
    No more
    What is love?

    ~




      April 28, 2019 6:55 PM MDT
    0

  • 6098
    Why not waste our time?  For some of us - that is what we come here for.  I mean to hear about relationships - which I consider are all love.  Even crazy, late night drunk sex beats politics as a topic. 

    So we can classify our relationships with others in different ways but I really think they are all about love.  About reaching out to others. Which do not have to involve marriage or late night sex or even really any sex. 

    If you feel he saved you or helped save your life then of course you value him.  But I think important for us to take the responsibility of saving ourselves. Which means we can't be overly harsh in judging ourselves. In your earlier marriage OK you were not saved but some of it must have been good or you would have not been together.  Which is love too.  You have touched on so many important things in your short paragraph that we could expand upon for the rest of our lives. 
      April 28, 2019 7:28 AM MDT
    1

  • 976
    Thank you. I am humbled (((hug)))
      April 28, 2019 9:55 AM MDT
    1

  • 53037


      It's better to have lusted and lost than to never have lusted at all.  In a lot of ways, I interject lust where love is used to see if it applies equally across the board.  Sometimes it does.  In fact, quite often it does.


    ~




      April 27, 2019 8:24 PM MDT
    2

  • Which is exactly where my judgement went awry. 
      April 27, 2019 8:29 PM MDT
    1

  • 53037

      He lusted after you just as much as you lusted after him, right?

    ~



      April 27, 2019 8:34 PM MDT
    2

  • In retrospect, perhaps I lusted more. 
      April 27, 2019 8:37 PM MDT
    2

  • I've realised lust is a very dangerous trap. Isn't it one of the deadly sins?
      April 28, 2019 4:03 PM MDT
    0

  • 5808
         Love to be experienced is vital.
    Many experiences, will open the heart
    to The awakening of Love to something
    beyond our selfish concerns. When this happens
    our self imposed boundaries literally melt,
    so something greater can be experienced.
         If our love is of selfish concerns,
    it can hold ourselves to not experience
    the depths of unselfish unconditional Love.
    If our love is unconditional, there is no issue of
    having loved and lost or to never have loved at all.
         Many times our love is conditional which
    places limits to what we can experience,
    and what we experience is within a framework
    of restrictions. With unconditional love the boundaries are removed
    and the senses are alive with a deep awareness
    of being one with the true nature of ourselves
    and not our tiny ego.

      April 27, 2019 10:40 PM MDT
    2

  • It's better to wait until you find the right person for you to consider it love at all.  People use the word "love" much to casually.  You might be losing people who you weren't meant to be with anyway ... 
      April 28, 2019 2:51 AM MDT
    2

  • Yes, Mrs C, it does look like that. 
      April 28, 2019 3:39 AM MDT
    2

  • 14795
    I believe it is Nellie......You at least have some happy years ....No one born has any rights to things on this earth ,including life......Nature has a way of taking the things we love from us ,be it by accident like car crashes, falling over ,man made wars ,natural disasters or even starvation through famine...

    Our life span is very short in comparison to how old our planet is.......You exist on this planet to survive and find happiness in any way you can...
    Nothing last forever ,but love can and does for most all people on this planet .....love of your kids or partners seems the most that's ever lasting....with natures consent of course.....:)
      April 28, 2019 3:21 AM MDT
    1

  • 6098
    In loving we can be hurt but we never lose. 
      April 28, 2019 5:32 AM MDT
    2

  • 22891
    it rnight be
      April 29, 2019 5:38 PM MDT
    0

  • No.
      May 15, 2019 7:41 AM MDT
    0

  • 6023
    Though the common interpretation of that saying regards romantic love ... if you take into consideration "love" as a general term, then the answer to your question is YES.
      May 15, 2019 8:31 AM MDT
    0