I saw you do it. I could barely believe my eyes, I think you really went overboard this time. Well, I've given my statement to the authorities, I've taken a Polygraph, and now, the tabloid press is in negotiations with my legal team and my agent. You're DONE FOR.
Before giving out my badge number, I'm required to frisk you. It's for both my own safety and for yours, regulations, you see. Please disrobe fully and lie down on my bed. I'll be right with you as soon as the massage oil is heated to the proper temperature. I'm very much by the book.