can you tell me a joke please

So a lady walks into the bar with a duck. Bartender asks " hey what are you doing with that pig?". The lady responds its not a pig, it's a duck. The bartender says " I was talking to the duck"


Hahahaha!!!!

You have to feel sorry for Fire. Everybody else gets a holiday on July 4th, but not Fire.

Fire works on July 4th.

So this baby fur seal walks into a bar. When he's asked what he wants..."Anything but a Canadian Club"

Guy goes into a bar for a drink then feels he needs to use the can. Cannot find a washroom so goes upstairs,  no washroom at all then he notices a hole in the floor so he does his business there then goes back downstairs to the bar. Everybody has cleared out. "Where'd everybody go?" he asks the bartender. 
"Where were you when the s*** hit the fan?" This post was edited by my2cents at September 3, 2019 10:03 AM MDT

I put my dog on a vegan diet. She's eaten three of them so far.