What are three things in this photo that indicate they're in a hotel room, things usually not found in homes? ~

I can only speak for my home.

1. A corded phone.
2. A gorgeous woman smiling in the bedroom
3. That rolling suitcase.

1.  That thing with the straps in the bottom left corner of the picture.

2.  The pencil and notepad on the nightstand.

3.  The way the bedsheets are folded.

1. 4-poster bed
2. Deadbolt on the bedroom door (old keyhole indicates that this isn't the main door)
3. Clothes valet

Also ... 
4. No dirt (not even a cobweb)
5. Cheap, ugly wallpaper

Luggage/Suitcase rack
Rollerbag
Locks on the door
Notepad next to the bed

Now I am really curious.  Randy for an American the room has a European Radiator.  I have seen more hideous Wallpaper in house I have looked at.  The mirror behind the headboard is a 50-50. The European wall plug next to the radiator.  The door is old style small, other wise the guy is above 2 meters 4cm, the woman 1 meter 75cm.  Door Panels give that away. 

As to the chrome 4 poster, have not seen one of those in years.  Even for Mother Russia those would be considered Motel 6 tacky

Are we to assume the couple is in the EU, possibly Northern EU?  I would guess a Best Western Europe, possibly Hamburg off the Repperbahn and alll the funky action that district has to offer.  My other choice would be Southern Italy