It wouldn't, really. My daughter started telling me in kindergarten that she had girlfriends. I didn't think anything of it because she was so little. Plus, my kids grew up in the era where the gay community fought for the right to marry, so I wondered if maybe that impacted things somehow, like it became cool to be in same-sex relationships... even for kids who had not yet reached sexual maturity and didn't understand what attraction was.
But, now, she's going into sixth grade and she has a "girlfriend." We're kind of hitting the point where she may well legit be gay. So, in a way, it does "affect" me because I now have a whole slew of different concerns. Can she not be doing sleepovers with friends? Do I need to have a rule in place now that says she can't have anyone in her room with the door closed? How does this impact "the talk?" I'm friends with the mother of her "girlfriend" and the girls have been friends since kindergarten. Do I talk to the other mom? Does she know her daughter has a "girlfriend?" On the one hand, a talk would be prudent to ensure the girls aren't getting into things we don't approve of, but if the other mom reacts poorly... I don't want to put the kids through that.
And, my 3rd grade boy says he's gay now too. I genuinely don't think he gets it. Not yet. I think, for him, it's just a label he likes. I've never heard him talk about having a crush on a boy or anything. But, this is totally uncharted territory for me as a parent. There are things I need to be saying and doing. I do need to help make sure they're being safe, practicing good dating etiquette, and are strong enough to let things roll off their backs when people talk trash. Plus, I need to do it in an age-appropriate way.
So many layers and uncharted parenting territory. I didn't go through any of this with my oldest. And, I'm straight, so...
All that said, if we're talking about how it impacts my feelings for them or my relationship with them, it doesn't.
A little word of knowledge regarding something I've learned. Because of parental hesitation or lack of awareness of the need, by the time adults decide to start these discussions with their children, they are often already actively involved in said activities. Whatever you do, don't show up late for the game. Just thought I'd share. Good luck and God bless. I bet you're a really cool mom.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at September 2, 2019 6:36 PM MDT
I have a son turning 22 this year, so this isn't my first "rodeo." I openly discuss sex and relationships as they relate to health and wellness with all my kids, but to varying degrees based on age. The challenges are different this time around though. Like I said, there's sleepovers to worry about. There's other parents reactions. There's potential heartache over reactions from a-holes. Those things are uncharted waters for me as a parent.
Right now, my daughter says she doesn't want to kiss anyone until she's 30 and married. Bless her heart. That will change. But, I also believe she'll keep me in the loop because we do have very open discussions.
I would mean that my genes and my family name would of died with my sons but I could live with that as long as they were happy and I got to do the Robot dance at their wedding. I have 2 sons but one can't have children the other one has a son and daughter so I live on. Cheers and happy labour Day!
This post was edited by Nanoose at September 2, 2019 5:11 PM MDT
Just as in the way straight couples who are unable to get pregnant will often bring in a surrogate to carry the child for them, the same often happens with homosexual couples. Two lesbians can have a child with donated sperm and that child is a blood relative and part of the blood line. The same with two men. A woman can be fertilized with one or the other's sperm and carry the child to term for them enabling the start of a family. That child would be a direct descendant of the man. Part of the bloodline. Worthy of the family name. Heir to the throne. Science provides a way around many childbearing and fertilization obstacles these days for both heterosexuals and for homosexuals. So you would not need to fear that you are the end of the line. Even if your sons were gay they would still have every opportunity to carry the family into the future. Being gay does not limit one's possibilities at living a full life. For some it actually provides for it.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at September 2, 2019 5:41 PM MDT
Let's be blunt. Can I be blunt? I am gay, have two sons and a daughter. I can assure that my sperm tastes and works the same as a hetero's sperm. Being homosexual does not mean you are sterile and incapable of reproducing.
Just Asking 