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Slartibartfast
Discussion » Questions » Death and Dying » It's the zombie apocalypse! All you have to defend yourself with is the object immediately to your left. How screwed are you?
Slartibartfast

It's the zombie apocalypse! All you have to defend yourself with is the object immediately to your left. How screwed are you?

I don't think the sofa cushion is going to be terribly useful :-(

Posted - September 5, 2019
Tags : None

Responses


  • 19942
    The object to my immediate left is my steno book stand.  I guess I could bash them with that.
      September 5, 2019 9:49 AM MDT
    4

  • 44359
    Hmmm...what could I do with a bamboo back-scratcher?
      September 5, 2019 9:55 AM MDT
    3

  • 46117
    They are gonna eat you, so you might as well scratch a few backs and make friends in the meantime.  
      September 5, 2019 10:41 AM MDT
    1

  • 44359
    Their skin will just fall off.
      September 5, 2019 1:24 PM MDT
    0

  • 19942
    Burn it.  They don't work well at all.
      September 5, 2019 2:26 PM MDT
    1

  • 44359
    It works great on my back. The cat likes it, too.
      September 5, 2019 3:28 PM MDT
    2

  • 19942
    I like my stainless steel one better - it really scratches harder.
      September 5, 2019 6:38 PM MDT
    1

  • 44359
    That would probably rip my skin off.
      September 6, 2019 11:09 AM MDT
    1

  • 19942
    No, with the stainless steel one, you can apply more or less pressure.  With the bamboo one, no matter how hard I scratched, it never really stopped the itch.  It's also bulky and hard to get to the exact spot.  With the steel one, the head is not ass wide and you can hit the exact spot because the handle telescopes.
      September 6, 2019 2:42 PM MDT
    1

  • 10644
    Pretty scared the object to my immediate left is a bunch of grapes and their seedless so they wouldn't make a good weapon. Cheers!
      September 5, 2019 9:57 AM MDT
    3

  • 6023
    In my left pocket is a pocket knife.
    I should get one of those telescoping staffs, like the Rangers from Babylon5 had.  lol
      September 5, 2019 10:38 AM MDT
    3

  • 46117
    Perfect.  The remote.  I can turn the channel and face REALITY.  

    The real zombie apocalypse started ages ago.  We have people who are aware and thinking and caring and we have the TRUMP Base. 

    You see?  

    They are killing us surer than any ZOMBIE, VAMPIRE or ORC.  

    We have Sauron in China the Godless Despot, We have his minion Saruman in Russia, We have Wormtongue in N. Korea and we have Gollum who thinks he's GOT THE RIIIINGGGG.

    We know the end of this one.
      September 5, 2019 10:39 AM MDT
    2

  • Oh Jeez! 
    I have a clothes hanger on the bed next to me to the left. 
    I'll just have to go all Joan Crawford on those Zombie azzes.

    See the source image
      September 5, 2019 3:48 PM MDT
    3

  • 2836
    Joan Crawford: more frightening than a Zombie apocalypse
      September 5, 2019 3:56 PM MDT
    2

  •   September 5, 2019 4:20 PM MDT
    2

  • 2836
      September 5, 2019 4:28 PM MDT
    2

  •   September 5, 2019 4:31 PM MDT
    2

  • 2836
      September 5, 2019 4:35 PM MDT
    1

  •   September 5, 2019 4:47 PM MDT
    2

  • 2836
      September 5, 2019 4:51 PM MDT
    2

  •   September 5, 2019 4:59 PM MDT
    2

  • 2836
    Screwed? Maybe. Will I know or care? Unlikely
      September 5, 2019 3:58 PM MDT
    3


  • Honey, I'm tired of telling ya.  "CLEAN UP YOUR WORKSPACE!"
      September 5, 2019 4:17 PM MDT
    1

  • 2836
    You shutup
    It took me over a year to build up that residue. It's coffee and tea. In the morning all I need to do is lick my desk for a quick pick-me-up

      September 5, 2019 4:44 PM MDT
    0