I doubt that you'd be a shell. But I understand that humour is vital to your situation. Often feel very sorry that I rarely have the wits to tickle your funny bone. You often tickle mine. As for philosophical, I don't think it's possible to be funny without a good sense of logic, cause and effect, and the absurd - all of which are at the roots of philosophy. You do keep it real, and I like that. :)
I have a friend who is a retired criminal psychologist.
He points out the bell-curve of statistics for intelligence. Half of all people have an IQ of around 100, which is bright enough to get through most things in life, but doesn't permit a person to rise much above all the average problems we face - in other words, not very bright. Then there's all the people below the 100 mark who need help to survive. And then there's the decreasing gradient of people above the 100 mark, getting rarer the higher the mark goes. The ones who are super bright, up in the genius category, are very rare - and that often makes them lonely - very hard to find a mate or life partner who is an equal, let alone friends. I suppose an analogy would be someone who can see in ultra-violet and infra-red as well as the normal spectrum. They'd be hard put to find anyone to talk to about their experiences. perceptions and understandings. I think that's how it often is with people who genuinely understand things like quantum physics and other complex topics. Or for instance, how joyful it is when a master musician can play with another.
I don't see myself as kind - but thank you. Rather, I think you are a genius with a few other traits that have stymied some of your chances and helped make life very painful through no fault of your own. There would probably be some ways of making things easier, but you've probably thought of them and decided against those choices.
At any rate, I'm happy to be your friend in any way I can - including chatting via messages if you like. Sometimes I'm busy, but I'll usually answer within 24 hrs.
Perhaps dark matter is actually the cousin of something else, but in another dimension. You have to bring 'other dimensions' into the picture. When you get into these unknowns, you must use your imagination. Once you win the Nobel Prize for Physics, I could use a new pickup truck.