In fact, the feeling rarely comes up. Probably because I spend vast amounts of time at home, mostly reading or writing. Ari is my main companion, and despite the fact that we get on each other's nerves once in while, most of the time it feels good having him around.
When I make a trip into town is when things can get a little awkward. There are a few people who, if they see me, latch on like leeches. They're hungry for a chat just when I want to get my chores and shopping done. Or they want to hitch a ride somewhere. Or they're a little bit crazy. One's got a fairly high spectrum disorder and a drugs problem. Another is schizoid and off the planet. Another likes to tell you his life story for the umpteenth time. Yet another is determined to convert me to his view of socialism (pure Marxist). And another believes he understands physics even though he knows hardly a thing about maths - he thinks it's a spiritual thing that can be intuited.
When I'm at Poets Out Loud or the Flamingo Writer Salon or uni, I'm in my element. That's where I meet the people who turn me on the most and I'm flying - in bliss. Once in a while, someone else will drop in on one of those conversations. It changes the dynamic, sometimes improves it, sometimes shuts it down. When a shutdown happens I really wish I could tell the person to "bugger off".
I've never actually said those words. (Though I might use them in writing if it suited the character.) I have ended things when a relationship really gets on my nerves - but it takes a lot. Usually, If I must put an end to something, I give my reasons as politely as possible and leave. It's rare for me to be rude - I have to be in a foul rage over something that's deeply upset me.
This post was edited by inky at November 26, 2019 4:00 AM MST
inky 