People often tell you to always stay positive. Obviously they never been tested for STDs.

http://www.theonion.com/multiblogpost/as-long-as-youre-smiling-nothing-can-get-you-down--21198

I'm positive I don't have any. 

There is a joke about testing athletes for performance-enhancing drugs that goes something like this:

Slugger: So, Doc, did I pass me PED test?

Doc: Well, slugger, there's good news and bad news.

Slugger: Oh?

Doc: The good news is, you tested negative for PEDs. The bad news is, you're pregnant.

Apparently, there is a kernel of truth to this joke insofar masking agents for PEDs (which are typically chemically related to testosterone) often resemble female hormones.

That's funny. ;)

But wait, what about that time you and I were in Bora Bora . . . oh, I forgot that you swore me to secrecy on that one.  Never mind.

~

Hahahaha....

85% of people with the HSV-2 strain of herpes don't know they have it. That's not including the dozens of other strains out there.

thats true