Discussion » Questions » Relationships » Women: which is higher, the number of men you’ve actually made a pass at, or the number of men you’ve wanted to make a pass at?*
Randy D

Women: which is higher, the number of men you’ve actually made a pass at, or the number of men you’ve wanted to make a pass at?*

*I know, I know, the grammar is terrible, but just work with me here. (Sigh.)







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Posted - February 1, 2020
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Responses


  • 1152
    Unless women are in the habit of making passes at men when they DON'T want to, I think you will find the first number is always less than or equal to the second number....

    Now, there is research which suggests men PERCEIVE women make more passes at them than actually do, but that is a separate question...


    https://www.bustle.com/articles/61554-men-are-more-likely-to-confuse-friendship-for-romantic-interest-than-women-study-says
      February 1, 2020 10:32 AM MST
    1

  • 783
    Hmm, well, I’ve never made a pass on a guy, so that is definitely lower. But the other number is low too. I rarely find myself feeling attracted to people, even if I find them aesthetically appealing. To develop a crush, I have to know them for a long time and connect on a mental level. My husband and I were friends for almost a year before I found myself crushing on him, and had no idea he had been into me the whole time but didn’t make a move because I was in another long distant relationship at the time. 
      February 1, 2020 11:06 AM MST
    1

  • Really, I've lost count.

    But gotta agree with Pebble on one thing : Guys almost always perceive women are hitting them when its only a polite interaction. 
      February 1, 2020 11:55 AM MST
    2

  • 8209
    Neither one.  I don't EVER meet ANYONE I want to make a pass at.  I am friendly to everyone none of any interaction is ever a pass. 
      February 1, 2020 12:22 PM MST
    1

  • 1152
    I have read an evolutionary biology argument which states it is advantageous for men to overestimate women's sexual interest, as this will over time tend to garner them more sexual partners (resulting in potentially more babies). In contradistinction, men who underestimate women's sexual interest will miss out on sexual encounters they could have had (resulting in fewer babies). Hence, mistaking "friendliness" for "Hey, baby!" will be a trait selected for over time.

    I'm not sure I buy that. Or, even if it's true, I suspect cultural factors overwhelm any inherited biological tendency.

    As someone who is provably blind to sexual interest by women (and, apparently, men as well...), this doesn't really affect me.
      February 1, 2020 12:36 PM MST
    0