How many times per day do you eat guacamole?

It is the best.

  The best “what”?

The best food you have never eaten.

  Define the “you” in your statement above. Is it the general you or the me you specifically?  Personally, I’ve tasted guacamole before; that’s how I am sure that I detest it. 

You as in you... I was under the impression you hadn't tried it.

Not all guacamole is created equal.

  There are certain foods that you do not like, do not eat, do not prefer. Some of them you have tried, others you just know you don’t like them or that you don’t even want to try them. I am the same way. If you like avocado and/or guacamole, fine.

  One extremely annoying aspect of human interaction is when person A likes something and therefore assumes that person B should or has to  like it equally. Next you’ll be chasing me down with a spoon full of mayo in one hand and a spoon  full of Vegemite in the other. Yick!

Vegemite isn't supposed to be eaten by the spoonful, and that could be your problem. Spread THIN on toast with plenty of butter, it's ambrosia.

  Thank you, Mate, you’ve explained many times how it’s supposed to be eaten, but I don’t need the tips because regardless of the amount or the method, I have absolutely no interest in eating it at all. I found its taste to be revolting, and I won’t ever let it pass my lips again. The reference I made   to a spoonful of it was more for exaggerated emphasis than it was for palate accuracy. 
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