Discussion » Questions » Emotions » Ever hated people because even if you loved them, they wouldnt be good to you ?
franc533

Ever hated people because even if you loved them, they wouldnt be good to you ?

No matter how good you are to them, they will always despise and hurt you. 


so whats the purpose of being a rag to them ?

Theres some people who completely destroyed me and never even cared to apologize to me (online ). 


Posted - February 16, 2020
Tags : None

Responses


  • 4624
    I couldn't love someone who treated me badly.
    Genuine mistakes I can forgive.
    Anything repeated and deliberate - I'd just walk away and avoid the person permanently.

    For the sake of my own sanity, I'd practice wishing them well.
    There's nothing more corrupting and toxic than hating.

    But I confess I have sometimes failed to wish well towards an abuser.
    There was a man who abused me very badly many years ago.
    I wished his karma would catch up with him.
    Twelve years later, I heard he'd been beaten to death by thugs and the cops never caught the killers.
    I felt such joy, such vindictive glee, such relief to know that someone like him was no longer in the world.
    I am not implying that my wishes had anything to do with his demise;
    I believe the Law of Cause and Effect is far more direct than that.
    My guess, he probably continued doing terrible things to women and one day someone took revenge.


    P.S. - Regarding your experience, people who are abusive online are trolls.
    One cannot expect them to think or react like normally mentally healthy people.

    Ginger Gorman has written a book on trolls, "Troll Hunting."
    https://www.nla.gov.au/stories/audio/troll-hunting-with-ginger-gorman

    Through five years of intensive research,
    Ginger found that trolls are psychopaths and sadists in their private lives, not just online.
    They have no conscience about what they do.
    They often have criminal records for violence and are members of hate groups.
    They get together in big syndicates online to seek out and target people they think will be vulnerable.
    Trolling is not a trivial behaviour - it causes real harm and is intended to.
    It's linked to terrorism, real-life stalking, murder, incitement to suicide and domestic violence.



    This post was edited by inky at February 17, 2020 3:11 PM MST
      February 16, 2020 6:22 PM MST
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  • 1440
    wow, really unique story !


    well , when its a woman who done you wrong online, you cant even wish them dead on them. 
      February 16, 2020 6:24 PM MST
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  • 4624
    Commiserations.

    I don't know the specifics of what happened for you with the woman,
    but I do know that all relationships online are just as real as the ones in real life.
    Certainly, the unconscious cannot distinguish between the two.
      February 17, 2020 8:49 AM MST
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  • 44655
    You can ignore her and stay away from online sites that allow such behaviour.
      February 17, 2020 3:12 PM MST
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  • 1152
    Yes, I call them Mom and Dad...


    This post was edited by SaltyPebble at February 18, 2020 12:49 PM MST
      February 16, 2020 6:34 PM MST
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  • 4624
    Sad - but I know what you mean.
    It's a common thing. :(
      February 16, 2020 6:48 PM MST
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  • 1152
    I am, perhaps, overselling my reaction.

    I don't hate them. However, I don't like them. I respect that they, for the most part, did the best they could. But they made some VERY selfish and hurtful decisions (one of which was to stay married and conceive me, when it was clear they fundamentally could't stand each other). 

    I respect them as parents. I don't like them as people.
      February 16, 2020 6:55 PM MST
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  • 4624
    Same.
    My Mum deceived my Dad by getting pregnant with me in order to trap him.
    Her ploy worked, but it was a recipe for a disastrously unhappy marriage
    which lasted until he died fifteen years later.
      February 16, 2020 7:00 PM MST
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  • 1152
    Should we start a fan club or support group or something?....

    My situation was almost certainly complicated by my parents both being war refugees. I am certain my mother has emotional scars which affected her behavior. I am less certain about my father because he passed away before I achieved the necessary knowledge and perspective to consider the question, but it's certainly plausible.
      February 16, 2020 7:03 PM MST
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  • 4624
    Ari, my husband, is a child of the holocaust, born 1947 in Berlin, of Jewish parents.
    So I fully understand the emotional scars.

    My parents had their scars for different reasons. Dad's mother was bipolar & his father often absent. Mum's mother alcoholic and her father dead.
    It was the realisation of their wounds which enabled me to forgive them their flaws,
    and make peace with them and myself.
      February 16, 2020 7:38 PM MST
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  • 1152
    I suppose if only emotionally well-adjusted people got together and had kids, the human race would have died out long ago...
      February 16, 2020 7:42 PM MST
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  • 4624
    Laughter...
    Too true! :/
      February 16, 2020 7:48 PM MST
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  • 44655
    THIS IS ONLY A JOKE.

    Why do men usually die before their wives?
    They want to.
      February 17, 2020 3:14 PM MST
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  • 17620
    I only read as far as ever hated people?


    No.
      February 16, 2020 6:41 PM MST
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  • 23659
    Wow -- your answer 'struck' me. I read the entire question about an hour ago, read the whole thing. Saw your answer and I thought, yes, I'd be there with you. I could have answered that way, too, without reading any more of the question.
    Well said.
      February 16, 2020 7:08 PM MST
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  • 17620
    Thanks, Welby
      February 16, 2020 7:30 PM MST
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  • 5391

    There are people who have proven themselves unworthy of my company, or any measure of my favor. They are simply excluded from both. 

    Hating takes too much effort. 

      February 16, 2020 7:52 PM MST
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  • 10052
    There are certainly many people who I don't like, but I don't hate. As Don said, it takes too much effort.

    In the scenario you describe, I suggest that you focus on being happy. Finding peace and contentment for yourself is the best revenge against anyone who has harmed you. 
      February 16, 2020 8:20 PM MST
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  • 46117
    I'm exactly the opposite.   I like people who I like regardless of what they think of me.
      February 16, 2020 9:35 PM MST
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  • 23659
    That's really admirable. Nice!
    :)
      February 17, 2020 4:44 AM MST
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  • 5808
         Small potatoes dude.
    Love is greater than hate
    always keep it alive in your heart.
    Stay rooted in love
    all else will simply pass by...
    ...Love unconditionally
    and life will be very good for you
    no matter how much Dung comes your way.
    Don't attach yourself to the bad stuff
    only embrace Love...no matter what.
    Rise above the physical fecal matter
    that you are holding onto
    and your life will blossom into
    a state of Love...
      February 17, 2020 7:15 AM MST
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  • 44655
    I don't hate...I ignore. Hating them gives attention. Ignoring is far worse.
      February 17, 2020 3:16 PM MST
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  • 34460
    I do not hate anyone. Not worth the time or effort. 
      February 17, 2020 3:19 PM MST
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  • My entire class.  I mean, I fantasize about inflicting torture on them that only Ondine can understand. :P
      February 18, 2020 12:53 PM MST
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