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CosmicWunderkind
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Discussion » Questions » Humor and Jokes » Does this pizza make me look fat? Also, do you think I’m pregnant?

Does this pizza make me look fat? Also, do you think I’m pregnant?

Posted - March 1, 2020

Responses


  • 783
    How would I know if you’re pregnant? It’s not as if I was the one who deliberately artificially inseminated you when I had you drugged and tied up the other night. This post was edited by Lady Ondine at March 2, 2020 5:55 AM MST
      March 1, 2020 5:19 PM MST
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  • 7408
    Thanks for not scarring my face while I was drugged and immobile, you’re a good friend. :) But what happened with the turkey baster?? This post was edited by Jaimie at March 2, 2020 6:26 AM MST
      March 1, 2020 5:22 PM MST
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  • 783
    Have you checked your toothbrush lately? 
      March 1, 2020 5:23 PM MST
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  • 7408
    I brushed my teeth with that thing this morning! omg :( 
      March 1, 2020 5:26 PM MST
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  • 783
    And you didn’t even check to make sure it was a toothbrush? Girl! Ummm...I’m gonna look the other way on this one. 
      March 1, 2020 5:27 PM MST
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  • 7408
    They told me you couldn’t get pregnant by swallowing ... TOOTHPASTE. they lied :( 
      March 1, 2020 5:28 PM MST
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  • 783
    I hope they’re twins! 
      March 1, 2020 5:30 PM MST
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  • 7408
    I hope they’re cabbage patch kids. 
      March 1, 2020 5:31 PM MST
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  • 783
    You’re already planning to put them to work? Damn. 
      March 1, 2020 5:33 PM MST
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  • 7408
    Isn’t that the only reason to have children? I did the math once of how much it would hire someone to do all my landscaping / yard work / snow clearing and hiring a housekeeper to do light household duties vs the cost of having a kid... I decided  not to have a kid. 
      March 1, 2020 5:36 PM MST
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  • 783
    The problem is that the kids get tired and you have to teach them what to do first. Definitely not good bang for your buck. I’ve heard oompa loompas work better and are just as fun. 
      March 1, 2020 5:37 PM MST
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  • 7408
    an ompa lompa would work... I like the colour orange and it would be good for my self esteem to have someone around shorter than me.  
      March 1, 2020 5:42 PM MST
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  • 783
    Just make sure to treat them well. I’ve heard of some horror stories of vengeful oompa loompas turning their masters into giant pieces of fruit. 
      March 1, 2020 5:47 PM MST
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  • 7408
    Oh great, I’m posting about trying to lose ten pounds and I’m going to end up looking like the kool- aid guy by the end of the night.
      March 1, 2020 5:50 PM MST
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  • 783
    Yes, except a bit more blue. I hope that’s a good color for you. 
      March 1, 2020 5:53 PM MST
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  • 7408
    Blue works for me, I just can’t do yellow. lol I know what an ompa lompa is but I’ve never seen that movie so I thought they were orange. 
      March 1, 2020 6:21 PM MST
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  • 783
    Wow, you should watch the movie. Do the old version first. 
      March 1, 2020 6:24 PM MST
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  • 7408
    I’m not sure even why I’ve never seen the movie. It‘s from my time. I think it’s an 80’s movie and I was a kid in the eighties. maybe I did see it and it didn’t leave much of an impression. I’ve had this discussion before but I just can’t bring myself to watch it :) 
      March 1, 2020 6:27 PM MST
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  • 783
    Well, next time you get bored, just do it. 
      March 1, 2020 6:31 PM MST
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  • 7408
    I’ll try :) 
      March 1, 2020 6:32 PM MST
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  • 53524


    Wrong shade/hue. Not my baby, not my problem. 


      
      ~
      March 1, 2020 5:39 PM MST
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  • 7408
    I’m calling Maury and my lawyer. 
      March 1, 2020 5:42 PM MST
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  • 53524

      More layoffs payoffs under the table, I see. This is going to bankrupt me pretty soon.  Grrrrr. 

    ~ This post was edited by Randy D at March 1, 2020 6:54 PM MST
      March 1, 2020 6:27 PM MST
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  • 7408
    You better get a second job, night job ... PIZZA DELIVERY!!! Bam! 
      March 1, 2020 6:28 PM MST
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