She: “I constantly drink booze and smoke cigarettes. There, that should be enough to keep that awful Randy D away from me for good, right?”

  Wait a second, . . . you neither drink alcohol nor smoke cigarettes, do you, Sweetie?

That's why she has that smooth, youthful complexion. :P

I don't have no interest in booze or smokes. Just a little chewing tobacco now and again.

  So I’d have to live all the way over on the side of our double wide trailer from you?  That could work, that could work.



~

That's a single wide not, a double wide. I just knew you wasn't as rich as you said you was.

  Er, um, those aren’t your correct lines. Don’t you even read the scripts I send over to your dressing room every day?  Now let’s take it from the top, the part where I allow you to live with me after your release from the women’s detention facility . . . QUIET ON THE SET, WE’RE FILMING HERE, PEOPLE!


~

Randy D dials a number on his burner phone: “Listen, is this Bruce the Bruiser? Never mind who I am, let’s just say I’m going to send some business your way.  Your name and number were provided to me by a mutual friend who told me that you take care of problems. No, I’ve ignored it for too long, and instead of going away or toning it down, it only gets worse. Yes, I’ve decided it’s time to have it over and done with. Yes, yes, I know how much it costs, and I’m willing to pay. This particular problem is all the way over in Australia, is that ok?  Yes, I’ll pay for the flight and everything, a round-trip ticket. I guess I don’t even have to say that there’s a little something extra if you can make it look like an accident, right?  Just make sure nothing comes back to me, nothing points to me in any way. Thanks, now to discuss the money drop-off . . . “

You know Bruce is an Aussie, right? He was recording the call.
You have the right to remain silent ... This post was edited by Slartibartfast at March 21, 2020 4:43 PM MDT