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Got any constipation stories?

I have a family friend who has spent most of his adult life being constipated. Up untill a week ago I could not relate to his problem but I sure could laugh about it with him.  When he gets constipated he does a constipated Popeye impression and mumbles stuff like gess I got to get me some Olive Oil uck uck uck uck. He has a Iris accent so it makes it hilarious. Cheers and happy weekend!

Posted - May 8, 2020

Responses


  • 6988
    I drink apple juice every day, just a glass or two. 
      May 8, 2020 5:16 PM MDT
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  • 11108
    That's a short story - sounds like it probably has a happy ending. Cheers and happy weekend!
      May 8, 2020 5:25 PM MDT
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  • One time I didn't go for four days because I was on vacation with friends (and eating irregularly and out and about all the time). On the fourth day, I was also hungover from a night of drinking and I hadn't slept at all, so during the day I felt so miserable I was sure I was going to collapse (and this was while we were walking along the beach in San Diego, a beautiful setting, but my body was ready to give out). Finally, the dam broke open and the only bathroom was a public one at a CVS, but it would have to do. Half an hour later, I felt like a new man. :P
      May 8, 2020 8:33 PM MDT
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  • 11108
    I know it's not a contest but I just went 6 and a half days without going. I' m  glad  I don't drink anymore because being  hungover and constipated at the same time would of made me cry. Cheers and happy weekend!
      May 8, 2020 8:55 PM MDT
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  • 53509

     (would of have made me cry)
      May 8, 2020 9:28 PM MDT
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  • 11108
    Da blaw blaw?
      May 8, 2020 9:29 PM MDT
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  • 1817

    i have so many constipation and diarrhea stories, thats life when you’ve spent almost a decade abusing the literal shit out of laxatives 

    christmas 2016 i had not had a number two in about a month, my stomach hurt like hell and I took a bunch of laxatives+suppositories and NONE OF THEM WORKED. so eventually i resorted to Vaseline in my bum and the hard dry stuff slipped right out and honestly it was like a landslide. my butt was like mount st helens for the next 24 hours, i don’t even know how my organs remained in tact. 


    my personal fav tho was one night i ate an entire box of fiber one brownies and a handful of dulcolax, a few hours later i was in the shower and had to fart wicked bad so i let it rip, and  heard this ridiculous splat noise. i turned my head around like a dog after it farts and it’s confused by its own fart... digested fibre one brownie all over the shower wall. 

    to be honest it’s a miracle I’ve ever crapped my pants 

      May 8, 2020 8:41 PM MDT
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  • 11108
    A month without going must  of made you go insane with pain  -  I  now feel lucky I only went 6 and a half days. Cheers and happy weekend!
      May 8, 2020 9:04 PM MDT
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  • 53509

      (must of have)
      May 8, 2020 9:22 PM MDT
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  • 11108
    Da blaw blaw?
      May 8, 2020 9:24 PM MDT
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