Got any constipation stories?

I drink apple juice every day, just a glass or two. 

One time I didn't go for four days because I was on vacation with friends (and eating irregularly and out and about all the time). On the fourth day, I was also hungover from a night of drinking and I hadn't slept at all, so during the day I felt so miserable I was sure I was going to collapse (and this was while we were walking along the beach in San Diego, a beautiful setting, but my body was ready to give out). Finally, the dam broke open and the only bathroom was a public one at a CVS, but it would have to do. Half an hour later, I felt like a new man. :P

i have so many constipation and diarrhea stories, thats life when you’ve spent almost a decade abusing the literal shit out of laxatives 

christmas 2016 i had not had a number two in about a month, my stomach hurt like hell and I took a bunch of laxatives+suppositories and NONE OF THEM WORKED. so eventually i resorted to Vaseline in my bum and the hard dry stuff slipped right out and honestly it was like a landslide. my butt was like mount st helens for the next 24 hours, i don’t even know how my organs remained in tact. 

my personal fav tho was one night i ate an entire box of fiber one brownies and a handful of dulcolax, a few hours later i was in the shower and had to fart wicked bad so i let it rip, and  heard this ridiculous splat noise. i turned my head around like a dog after it farts and it’s confused by its own fart... digested fibre one brownie all over the shower wall. 

to be honest it’s a miracle I’ve ever crapped my pants