How do you deal with betrayal?

Your husband/wife cheats on you.  By your standards, they are doing what they think is best for THEM, so it isn't a betrayal?

You tell someone you considered to be a good friend something in confidence.  They then go out and share it with others without your permission.  That's not a betrayal?  In that case, they aren't doing what they consider is best for THEM at all. This post was edited by SpunkySenior at June 3, 2020 10:48 PM MDT

Spend your time looking for "betrayal" and that is what you will find.  Best to take a more positive attitude and just realize they are doing what they think is best for themselves.  For whatever reasons.  We are all too human. 

You didn't answer my question.  Do you think that when a spouse cheats it isn't a betrayal or when you confide in someone and they spill to others they haven't betrayed you?  Nevermind what they think it good for them - what what point do they have an obligation - legal or moral - to you?

No, I'm sorry but I can't see making my life about being "betrayed".  I cannot understand why people would love that so much they just want to dwell and dwell upon it.  Like they think their own convenience and feelings are what the whole world revolves around.  It doesn't work like that. 

I didn't ask you if you made your life about betrayal.  I asked you if when a spouse cheats you consider it a betrayal.  I didn't ask you what you would do about it or how long you would let it bother you, I asked you whether you consider it a betrayal.  Something tells me that you have been betrayed by or betrayed someone and are trying to convince yourself that it doesn't matter.  Being betrayed is not a matter of someone's convenience or that the whole world revolves around them.  It's a matter of trusting someone to live up to the vows they took and having them betray that trust.  No point in continuing this conversation because you don't want to see the point.  Whatever gets you through the night.

Once again, I don't think in terms of "betrayal". If others wish to that is their business. Nor do I go around expecting people to live up to whatever "vows" they made. Again, their vows are their business. Life is too short to expect too much of others. I try to go with what is, with reality. I guess I'm practical that way. 

Keep looking through those rose-colored glasses.  

  One might not necessarily have to “look for” something in order for it to take place. If that were true across the board, then burying one’s head in the sand like an ostrich would be the best defense against knowing that anything negative ever occurs in his or her life.  

  If someone you thought you could trust stole all of your life savings, it might be an expedient act for the perpetrator, but as the victim, do you just shrug it off, especially at age 63 when it’s much more difficult to merely start over again?

~

Having been on a few of these chat sites I know that people are always talking about being "betrayed". Which to me seems a far too negative take on life.  Like somehow that is what their lives are mostly about.  Really? I can't look at it that way.  I would rather focus on all the good things in life and enjoy them rather than being constantly obsessed by being "betrayed". 

Oh to whom am I going to give my money who will steal it?  My husband?  Who else would I even think of giving it to?