Discussion » Questions » Family » When you were growing up, which of your parents* was more likely to hug people than the other parent, or were they similar in that respect?

When you were growing up, which of your parents* was more likely to hug people than the other parent, or were they similar in that respect?

*Either your biological parent(s), any stepparent(s) you may have had, the people or person who raised you, or any other person(s) you consider as being a parent of yours. 
~

Posted - June 6, 2020

Responses


  • 4631
    Mum would only hug or kiss very close friends - of which she had four.
    Dad would only offer hug and kiss greetings and partings to wives of friends or friends of Mum.
    They were formal and old fashioned in that way.
      June 6, 2020 1:45 AM MDT
    2

  • 52905

     

      Am I remiss in noticing that you didn’t mention yourself or any siblings, or do I assume too much?
    ~

      June 6, 2020 1:50 AM MDT
    0

  • 4631
    My mother was not intimate with my sister or me, ever.
    She blamed her asthma, claiming she couldn't breathe when kissing.
    As a child, I naivelly accepted it.
    Much later I came to understand the real reasons behind it.

    My father mostly ignored my sister, but focues on me in ways that should not be mentioned here.
    It took 12 years of therapy and a mountain of Buddhist meditation to recover.
    Part of the therapy included learning to understand and know how to recognise when boundaries are necessary.


    This post was edited by inky at June 6, 2020 7:24 AM MDT
      June 6, 2020 1:54 AM MDT
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  • 52905

     

      I understand, and I wish that you, and all children, had not experienced those things. 

      June 6, 2020 1:59 AM MDT
    2

  • 7919
    Neither. I don't remember either of them hugging anyone. Ever.
      June 6, 2020 1:46 AM MDT
    4

  • 4631
    I'll bet you're not like that with your kids.
    I'd guess you give them lots of affection and, at the same time, never smother them.
      June 6, 2020 1:56 AM MDT
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  • 7919
    Are you kidding? I smother the heck out of them. ;)


      June 8, 2020 8:54 AM MDT
    1

  • 5808
    Yeah...me too.
      June 6, 2020 7:23 AM MDT
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  • 9778
    Neither. Hugging was never a thing when I was growing up. Now strangers hug each other in greeting. It's been an adjustment for me.
      June 6, 2020 4:25 AM MDT
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  • 52905

     

      I’m not fully accustomed to it either. It gives me the willies that some people expect it to be automatically acceptable that I should want to give or receive a hug from them. I’m the bad guy because I don’t go around like some rabid serial hugger. Ewwww.

      June 6, 2020 9:17 AM MDT
    2

  • 5808
    Never knew real parents,
    because I was was adopted.
    Never once saw my adoptive parents hug,
    neither first step mom, nor 2nd step mom.
    Strange huh?
    ...Never saw any of them hug anyone,
    not even me...haha

    This post was edited by Baba at June 8, 2020 8:55 AM MDT
      June 6, 2020 7:18 AM MDT
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  • 52905
      June 6, 2020 9:17 AM MDT
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  • 7407
    Both equally huggy, too huggy. 
      June 6, 2020 9:26 AM MDT
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  • 52905

     

      The squeeze-ya-’til-yer-cheeks-bloat-n-yer-lips-pop-out kind of huggy?
    ~

      June 6, 2020 9:42 AM MDT
    1

  • 7407
    I don’t mean to me, to other people. 
      June 6, 2020 9:56 AM MDT
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  • 52905

    Oh. 

    ~

      June 6, 2020 9:57 AM MDT
    1

  • 19942
    My mom.  My dad was not at all demonstrative.
      June 6, 2020 9:41 AM MDT
    2

  • 10449

    My parents weren’t huggers.   The only people my parents hugged were themselves (even that was rare), and my dad always initiated the hug.  

      June 6, 2020 11:28 AM MDT
    1

  • 17364
    I did not come from a line of huggers.  We all hugged each other but that was it.  Other than that the adults shook hands.  No elbow touches or foot knocks.
      June 6, 2020 2:48 PM MDT
    1

  • 6098
    My mother was more affectionate. Did more hugging, including me!
      June 6, 2020 7:43 PM MDT
    1

  • 22891
    my parents were never huggers, to this day i find it hard to hug anyone and never dated, never got married or had kids cause of it, i think if parents are going to be like that, then they shouldnt have kids
      June 7, 2020 2:53 PM MDT
    1

  • 32529
    They hugged family as a greeting.  

    My step Mom did hug close friends. 

    I am about the same with close family.  
    Occasionally, I do have regular customers who want a hug when they come into town. I don't really like it but do not let them know. 
      June 9, 2020 4:33 AM MDT
    0

  • 52905

     

      In addition to hugging close friends, did your stepmother also hug you and your siblings (if you have any)?

      I know what you mean about the people who want to hug you and you can’t say that you would rather not hug. Being your customers, it might alienate them or offend them. There are some people who expect others to automatically accept their hugginess. 

    ~

      June 9, 2020 6:16 AM MDT
    0