Calamity means trouble. That doesn’t fit you at all. (I expect my alimony payments to be lowered now. Thank you.)

~
Detective: “Who exactly are you accusing, Miss?”
Nice Jugs: “It was Randy D.”

~

No, of course not! Wait, are those danged whippersnappers on my lawn again? Grrrrrrrrr.

~
Hey, wait! Whatever happened to this?

Just last year it was the physique you were touting!
~

