I uprooted my entire life, packed all my things and went to cold, frozen Minnesota just to move in next door to the woman I love lust after, only to have her accuse me of stalking, file numerous restraining orders against me, continually call the police on me, change her locks whenever I figured out how to overcome them, destroy all the cameras and microphones I managed to install in her place, spray me with Mace, etc.
Eventually, I had to return to Southern California, but the intense cauldron of lust that I harbor for her has never died down. I shall try again (as soon as the statute of limitations expires). Grrrrr.
The Canadian woman wasn’t very receptive either. Did you know that instead of a guard dog, a Canadian uses a guard moose? I didn’t know it until I had one chasing me through a snowdrift and into a freezing cold river. That’s all behind me now, lesson learned.
I realize where I’ve erred. You cold-weather women need a man like me, but in my climate, sunny Southern California, not the frigid north. Move down here on a trial basis, let’s say ten to fifteen years, and if your feelings for me haven’t warmed up by then, we‘ll work something else out.
~
Jaimie 