Clean as a whistle, dry as a bone, that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Wrong side of the bed

Raining cats and dogs  (my weather station actually says this when it's raining hard out)

I don't know why everything is "as f^ck" (AF) now. 

Cold AF
Hot AF
Bored AF
Tired AF
Hungry AF
Thirsty AF
Horny AF ........wait, that one might make sense. 

 

 1. This is neither here nor there.

 2. There’s no rhyme or reason to it.

 3. It is what it is.

 4.  . . . between you, me, and the bedpost . . .

  5. Catch as catch can.

~

When I was a young child, my mother's favorite saying was "You can't have your cake and eat it too"---which she enunciated as if it had been communicated to her directly by the Oracle at Delphi.

Now children of that age are not known for their facility for understanding abstract concepts, so it was not until I was older that I finally realized that it meant that some outcomes are mutually exclusive.

As a child, I simply thought that I could have a piece of cake on my plate, but that I would not be allowed to actually eat it---guess how exciting I thought that was.. This post was edited by tom jackson at October 23, 2020 4:43 PM MDT

Dead as a door knob.

Dumb as a door nail.

Hungry as a bear.

I could eat a horse.

Mad as an old wet hen.

So funny it makes you want to slap your granny.

Soft as silk

Wetter than a dog's nose

Simple as ABC

Dumb as a rock

Neat as a pin

Sweeter than wine

Whatever floats your stick, a brick shy of a load, a sandwich shy of a picnic, cool beans, if that doesn't take the rag off the bush, dumber than a box of rocks, run like a scalded dog.

Ugly as a robber's dog.

Off like a bucket of prawns in the sun.

Flash in the pan.

If you're in tears over what happened to your village, don't ask Attila for the loan of a clean hanky.
(Doesn't make sense because it is well know Attila had no truck with clean hankies).