My F-I-L was livid that my husband didn’t name our first son after my husband, my F-I-L and the two that came before them. My husband hates his first name, but it was also his dad’s grandpa’s and great-grandpa’s first name. My husband told me he already had that shouting match with his dad by the time he was 12. My F-I-L was also upset because we didn’t get our sons circumcised. My own mom disagrees with us about spanking and LGBTQIA issues, but she supports all of our other parenting decisions, such as what we don’t let the kids watch on TV.
My mom’s previous church fell apart after the pastor died. You can probably guess what killed him and get it right on the first try. Her last church was all about end times prophecy and right wing politics, but my mom never agreed with prosperity theology, at least what I think is prosperity theology, which is if you have enough faith and you pray for it, then God will make you rich.
However, she has repeated some of the typical things that conservative people believe about poor people in the past, even though her own income isn’t that great. She’s a lot closer to being poor herself than she is to being rich. She currently doesn’t go to church, so she’s less interested now in a lot of the political junk that she got from her church. I know she said that it’s the church’s job to help the poor and not the state’s job, but I’m not sure if her previous church actually helped poor people. They might not have had the funds. I think most of the people that went to it had either crappy jobs or middle class jobs. Somehow, they still preached and believed right wing economic policies. It was a single church, not part of a denomination, and I think the pastor had a regular day job at a factory.
Anyway, her last church isn’t coming back. There’s a for lease sign on their space in the strip mall now.
It’s definitely sad for my husband who thought every decision he could’ve made regarding his dad was the wrong decision, and he still second guesses himself.
How does someone help a guy who tells you exactly how he expects you to help him, but what he wants is unreasonable? My F-I-L was terrible with money. He had a retirement plan which would have covered everything, housing, food, medical, and basic living expenses. He took out loans against it. His retirement plan was all gone two years before he was eligible to take it.
He wanted to move in with us, but my husband refused. I would’ve let him, but my husband said he knows his dad way better than I do and he couldn’t let that happen. It was still a hard decision for my husband to make, but my F-I-L broke his own mother financially.
He talked her into selling her house and moving into a mobile home. My husband said that his dad said the money from the sale of her house would last forever, but that was all gone in less than two years.
Anyway, he lives in a state group home now. The state also took over his finances. My husband is pretty sure his dad blames him for it.
It was frustrating with my husband. He doesn’t like telling people to take personal responsibility because he thinks it’s usually an overused and trite reply, but his dad just had an excuse for everything. His dad dismissed every suggestion immediately.
My uncle-in-law sent him a list of apartments that he could afford in the city where he lived that were only $400/month. He refused right away. My husband’s uncle also sent him a list of government programs to help him with housing. My F-I-L didn’t even consider it. He wanted to move in with a family member, but my husband’s uncle also refused to let him move in with him and his wife. Both my husband and my uncle said my F-I-L has a bad temper that neither one of them want in their homes.
My husband is still upset about the situation, even though his dad hasn’t contacted anybody in two years. The last we heard, he had to move into a different group home because he was angry that the other residents told him to stop being an entitled jerk. My husband said that’s exactly why his dad wanted to live with family members instead of other people.
Seeing my husband go through this with a parent gets me riled up.
(You’re Your)
my2cents 