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Get this guy’s agent on the phone with me right now! No, wait! Forget his agent, get me his manager; we need him in a recording studio immediately, before some other label snatches him up. I don’t know why I pay talent scouts when I’m the one doing their work for them. Wake up that no-good bum who claims to be a background investigator, dig into this guy’s past, his parents’ past, even his grandparents’ past, I want to know all the dirt before the tabloids find it. Pay off anyone who might upset the apple cart. Start a shadow fan club for him, but back-date it to his childhood years; we’ll tout him as a previously hidden child sensation whose kids are the only ones who inspired him to emerge now that he’s an adult. Are the lawyers in their offices, or are they still robbing my vault? See to it that they whip up the standard contract, I need it by noon tomorrow. What’s that publicity firm we used the last time a new act was an overnight sensation? Why are you just standing there? Have the wardrobe people whip up a new look for him, and both the makeup department and the hairdressers. Get that mug and that mop commercial-ready as soon as possible! Select some junior exec from one of our subsidiaries to pose as his former college roommate, splash the story all over the internet, the millennial crowd will eat it up. Ohio? What do you mean he lives in Ohio? We can’t have that! Hire a voice coach asap and get him into lessons before he does even one interview. We’ll tweak his story by saying he’s an Aussie who stowed away on a Vegemite-smuggling vessel, went through the Panama Canal, and jumped ship at the Saint Lawrence Seaway. Come up with an obscure medical disorder and some fake x-rays to explain why no one can understand his speaking voice. Where is that so-called registered nurse with my ulcer medication?
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I missed nothing of the kind because I did not ask for a question. I asked whether you (the general you) could do something.
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You’re supposed to post the video that goes along with it.
lol. This just made me want to listen to 93.7 to find what they’re playing. The 93.7 in my area is playing Bang by AJR right now.
There’s no requirement to post videos.
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You had me at: “It’s more fun with videos.” I’ve thought of everything, I’ve both written your script and selected the nightie you’ll wear . . .
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Do my password begin with a one or a two?
lol JA, if you’re still around, don’t answer that!