[~]
Er, um, on second thought, leaving San Diego in December to go Minneapolis might not be such a great idea after all. Next time you and Jane S speak with each other, let her know I’ve left a one-way plane ticket for her to come out here to see me instead.
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How do I know it’s not just you and your efforts to keep her from getting here? Grrrrrrr.
This is a view of Livvie dreaming up new ways to make Randy D unhappy:
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You posted this at 16:22 CST today and MSP was closed from 14:00 to 16:30 today. That gave Jane the perfect excuse to not get on a plane to see you.
Snow Queen Livvie had one job. She performed it well.
Fine. Jane has sent me a video showing how she’s preparing herself for the day she’ll break out of your evil spell, shoveling the entire runway if necessary. This love won’t be stopped. Grrrrrrr.
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Hey, wait . . .
Grrrrrrrrrr.
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I know exactly what your weather looks like. My husband’s trucking company has cameras on the trucks that are set up for streaming so I can see what’s going on in real time. Also, if an event occurs, it automatically sends me a notification.
One of our trucks just made his way across I-694. It took him an hour and fifty-five minutes to get from the Saint Croix River on I-94 to the I-94/I-494 split on the northwest side. Right now the visibility on I-94 going west is terrible, so he’s going nowhere fast today.
You wouldn’t do anything like that to me, Honey! Or would you?
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But what about us, what about our relationship? I don’t see how revolving restraining orders and constant arrests can help. 
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Neva happen! She’s going to have to work a lot harder than that in order for me to award her anything! If she plays her cards right, I just might throw her a shot. (Wink, wink.)
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You know, that’s not a bad idea at all! Thanks for the recommendation! Excuse me, I have to make a phone call.
“Hello, is this the Minneapolis location of Acme Costumes-я-Us? Oh, good, thank you. In anticipation of a trip to Minneapolis that I’m planning, when I arrive there, I’ll be needing to disguise myself as a common loon. Do you have any of those available? Dozens of them, really? What’s that? Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I am calling from California, how did you know? Oh, it’s only people like me from California who ever ask for them? Gee, that’s funny; you’d think that Minnesotans would request them more than anyone. How about if as soon as my flight lands there, I go straight from the airport to your place to pick it up? Most Californians usually order ahead and have it shipped to them so that they can wear it on the plane? That’s a perfect idea, I’m glad you told me about it! Set me up for one, I’ll give you the shipping address, but listen, when it comes to the cost, what’s your company’s policy on accepting partial payment in tildes? No, not field days, tildes. T-i-l-d-e-s. How’s that? No! Of course it’s not a crank call, it’s not a prank! My name is Randy D, and I just want to rent a costume from you. Yes, Randy D from San Diego, why do you ask? List, what list? Just a minute ago, we were making a deal, and now you’re telling me you can’t do it just because of some watchlist? Why would a costume shop halfway across the country have my name on some kind of list? Oh, ALL of the businesses in Minneapolis have the list? I didn’t know about that, how is it even legal? Restraining order filings in the civil courts or something like that? No? Well, sure, I know of a woman named Jane S, but that’s merely coincidental. Oh, I see; she generates the list herself, interesting. What if I told you my visit has nothing to do with her, I’m just checking on my chapter of The Harem there? No, it’s NOT made up, it really exists! Wait, don’t hang up! I can pay in full, no tildes! Hello? Hello? I think we’ve been disconnected! Hello, are you still there? Grrrrrrrrr.”
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Livvie 