I’m asking for a friend.
 Why did you turn into it? Was it too big to ignore?
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  I doubt you’re pregnant because of that: in my experiences, it’s usually a different letter that causes such things. (Cough, cough.)
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Some women actually like D!

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  Which alibi are you going to go with this time? 
(Grrrrrrr.)
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  I sent you a text message? What did it say?

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J was most likely jealous that I was talking with you, and rammed your car . . . wait, this is confusing, isn’t it? (Arrrgghh.)

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  You’re right, I should be more careful, because this stuff happens to me all the time: whenever a V comes after me, or comes quickly, or comes satisfactorily, or comes often, expectations of W aren’t too far behind. Grrrrrrr.
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Hey, wait . . . ! I have a solid alibi; I was in Minneapolis all that month!


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