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Discussion » Questions » Human Behavior » Should I be harsh or should I be gangster?
Nanoose

Should I be harsh or should I be gangster?

After 40 years of not wanting to know my wife. And 37 years of not wanting to know my sons because (in her mind) their mother was a whore (pardon my French) my evil half sister from Windsor wants to do a kiss and make up sort of thing. So I am torn between doing the harsh thing when she calls or doing the gangster thing when she calls. The harsh way would be to give her a piece of my mind and then telling her to F off. The gangster way would be to tell her that if she ever bothers me again or she try's to get a hold of me by bothering my sons she will be sleeping with the mud puppies in the Detroit river. Then I would remind her that I still have some pretty long arms and that I was always Grandma's favorite.  Cheers!

Posted - January 15, 2023
Tags : None

Responses


  • 1953
    I say give her a little bit of both, especially the F off part. 
      January 15, 2023 3:44 PM MST
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  • 11102
    Yeah I was just thinking maybe I should do the kiss and make up thing then start reminiscing about the good old days. And say stuff like - hey do you remember the time you tried to sic your boyfriend on me and my future wife - I heard you married that punk a** b*tch. Cheers! 
      January 15, 2023 4:02 PM MST
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  • 2999
    Don't invite trouble into your life, just don't answer the phone.  Anyway, that's what I would do. 
    Unless she has changed somehow and realizes the error of her ways and you can get past her prior behavior. 
    You have to decide what is best for you and the situation. 




     This post was edited by Honey Dew at January 16, 2023 11:43 AM MST
      January 15, 2023 4:00 PM MST
    4

  • 844
    Those are not the only choices. In fact they're pretty poor choices.

    You can listen without judgement. If you still don't want to have a relationship, just thank her for calling and say goodbye. If you still feel bitter, go on as before she wanted to contact you. Do you really want to be as ugly as you feel she is/was?

    If you do want a relationship with her, behave in the manner that sets an example for a future relationship. Model appropriate behavior.
      January 15, 2023 7:15 PM MST
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  • 11102
    Yeah I think my Grandmother would roll over in her grave if I did that. After my Grandmother went almost completely blind my evil half sister was giving power of  attorney. Then she used my Grandmothers blindness and her power of attorney  power to have my Grandmothers house sighed over to her then she sold the house and my Grandmother was forced to move out of her house. So I certainly not going to kiss and make up with her. Cheers! This post was edited by Nanoose at January 16, 2023 11:44 AM MST
      January 15, 2023 7:39 PM MST
    2

  • 34251
    Sometimes, in order for medical expenses to be paid the patient is not allowed to have assets that theoretically could be used to pay those medical expenses.   Did you ask or just assume it was simply greed on your sister's part? 
      January 16, 2023 10:28 AM MST
    1

  • 11102
    There were no medical expenses to be paid and I did talk to my brother about it and it was greed. I was kind of proud of my brother and his wife because when they found out about it - it was too late to stop it so they handled it the gangster way and put a beating on my evil half sister and her husband (he was in on it too). Cheers! This post was edited by Nanoose at January 16, 2023 11:44 AM MST
      January 16, 2023 10:47 AM MST
    2

  • 13277
    Both options are similar in that they convey the same message, so I’m not sure it makes a difference.
      January 15, 2023 8:44 PM MST
    1

  • 10996
    I don't recommend talking to her at all. Leave the past in the past. It might give you momentary satisfaction to strike back at her, but it's likely to bring negativity into your life at a time when you least need it.
      January 16, 2023 8:29 AM MST
    1

  • 11102
    At a time in my life when I least need it is it in a nutshell. Right now my wife is in the hospitable for the second time in 4 months. She was the only one who tried to bring a bit of family value into the picture. She would send photos of our kids only to get them back with notes like give these back to bucktooth Linda (wife's name). So it seems so wrong not to give my sister a piece of my mind. It might be negative but I have my sons and my wife's family to bring me some positive vibes. Cheers!
      January 16, 2023 9:28 AM MST
    2

  • 10996
    Good point. Maybe it's a good time to release some frustration. 
      January 16, 2023 9:38 AM MST
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  • 11102
    Yeah and I also think it would be healthy to hookup with my 331/3 relatives again. It is actually all my birth family that turned their back on my wife and kids (for no good reason). And when my 2 sons were around seven I started to feel bad that they had no relatives from my side of the family. So I created a 331/3 family and hung them up on a special wall. I cut out photos of rock stars from their record jackets - glued the photo to the record - wrote a caption under the photo - glued a hanging hook on the back of the record then hung them up. One of them was from the Dame the  torpedo's  alblum and it was  a photo of Tom Petty wearing a pair of Groucho Marx glases and the caption was - Uncle Tom being silly. Now I like to think that Uncle Tom would think I am silly if I din't say dame the  torpedo's  and charge forward. Cheers! This post was edited by Nanoose at January 16, 2023 11:56 AM MST
      January 16, 2023 10:25 AM MST
    3

  • 34251
    If you do not want an reconcile the relationship  with her, then just ignore her. Don't invite the drama.  

    If you are nasty back to her, it will likely justify her actions in her mind. If you treat her with respect, it will make her feel worse about how she treated your family. 
      January 16, 2023 10:34 AM MST
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  • 44602
    Ignore. People hate that.
      January 16, 2023 11:47 AM MST
    1