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Thanks! Oh, by the way, choose wisely: brown eggs or white eggs? (You and I really have to stop ignoring each other like this. Grrrrrrr.)
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*On the telephone:
”Hello, is this the 911 operator? Thank you. Listen, my name is Randy D, and I’m the one who’s been calling about my house and car getting egged all the time. Well, I have an update! A suspect has identified himself . . .”
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Oh, so you like the brown ones, do you? Interesting. Very, very interesting.
I’ll make a note of it and move your name up in the rotation. (Wink, wink.)
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We need to get some brown into you.
(Hey, wait! I didn’t mean that the way you took it!)
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I’ll brown your eggs for you. (Wink, wink.)
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I’ll go with the white eggs. *cracks one open* Hey! I thought the egg white was supposed to be white! Oh well. I’ll just throw it in there anyway. If the guests don’t like it they don’t have to eat it.
*On the phone:
“Hello, Health Department? This is Randy D again calling with another complaint . . . what’s that? Do I know I have been told never to call here again? Yes, I seem to vaguely remember a court hearing and injunction order, it’s all fuzzy because I have so many such cases filed on me all the time, but this is urgent! Wait, don’t hang up on me! It’s different this time, hello? Oh, you’re still there, good. Listen I’m not calling about Vegemite, avocados or mayonnaise, this time it’s against Livvie the Evvil One . . . ! Hello? Hello, Health Department? Is anyone there? Hello? I think we’ve been accidentally disconnected. Grrrrrrrrrr.”
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