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Your Honor, I was forced to seek alternative avenues for quick cash after that last spate of hearings in this very building left me destitute from paying exorbitant fines, fees, restitution, attorneys’ bills and court costs based on phony evidence and questionably slanted “justice”. I didn’t even have enough money to return to California, so I had to enter into clandestine exportation of Vegemite. It was the only way!
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