I'm really sorry to hear that. Hope you're hanging in there...
I unexpectedly lost a friend from childhood 8 months ago. It wasn't until the funeral that the sorrow of it caught up to me; guilt, even. Doing better now. I have a shirt with his silhouette on the back, which I like taking to new places.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Lost my dad in 2012 and my mom in 2017. I've lost a cousin and three friends since then, but still have my three sisters, all of whom are younger than me.