Discussion » Questions » Human Behavior » If we know that we're not going to change the other person's view, and vice versa, why do we argue?
Benedict Arnold

If we know that we're not going to change the other person's view, and vice versa, why do we argue?

In my case,
sometimes I see things that are so against common sense that it is almost like a sneeze. . . and before I know, im knee deep into an argument that was completely unnecessary. If only the other person had some sense. . . Of course. . .

How bout you?

Posted - February 7, 2017
Tags : None

Responses


  • I don't. I just don't like to argue. It's better to just agree to disagree. Don't ya think? You both have different views and that's all there is to it. Can't stand to argue and will avoid it any time I can. This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at February 8, 2017 6:42 AM MST
      February 7, 2017 6:10 PM MST
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  • I know you are right Rooster. I know. I do too. Mostly.
      February 7, 2017 8:13 PM MST
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  • Usually if I engage an argument it's because someone is painting what I see as an unfair picture. Like any opposing person is a monster or something.
      February 7, 2017 6:24 PM MST
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  • I can see that, but I mean, is not going to do any good tho, so why do we do it?
    Im sure the other guy thinks the same about us no?
      February 7, 2017 8:15 PM MST
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  • True.   I have a had some luck in it though.  I've had discussion with you that got a little argumentative but we we're able to acknowledge that we disagree but that the opposite view doesn't make the other a bad person or that the difference comes from a bad place.
    Think about our differences on the issue of humour.  Some things are off limits to joke about with you for me they are not. Yet you seemed to have gotten that I don't condone or excuse abuse or real denigration and I don't see you as denying the  free speech rights to find humour. 

    It's not that you can't change someone's mind it's that they have to be willing to allow it for the discussion to be worth the time.

    Plus like Jamie said below.   Sometimes it's just amusing. This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at February 8, 2017 9:50 AM MST
      February 8, 2017 9:39 AM MST
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  • I have, in all the time I've been here, had only one person say, "I havent looked at it that way before", and that was Ms R.
    Go figure.
    There is always someone more smarter than I in my questions that will come up with angles and ideas I have not considered before. I think that really is a fantastic find. And usually I concede on the spot.
    Unless the person's being a pr**k, then I don't.
    About our disagreements, don't worry. I know it usually takes you time to realise I was right all along.
    It's ok.
    )
      February 8, 2017 9:55 AM MST
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  • How do you know your sister is on her period?
      February 8, 2017 10:01 AM MST
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  • That's bad form.
      February 8, 2017 10:16 AM MST
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  • The punchline is great though. ;)
      February 8, 2017 10:22 AM MST
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  • i never argue anymore .... Unless for personal amusement ;) Sometimes can be fun but I could not care less change someone's personal views anymore. My feet are stuck in ground on most of my own  opinions and I wouldn't want talk someone who wasn't same on their own personal views. Cos. 
      February 7, 2017 6:30 PM MST
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  • I do hold the hope that somebody would change their minds however. I do.  Just like many times I've changed my mind. 
    Has anybody here made you change your mind, ever?
      February 7, 2017 8:18 PM MST
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  • Yes :)  best person I ever knew changed my mind 9 times.... I iked him... alot :)
      February 7, 2017 8:26 PM MST
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  • That's awesome!
    I do greatly appreciate it when someone is able to change my mind. 
    I realize then that there are still things to learn.
    Nothing more boring than somebody who's not changed his mind in the last twenty years you know?
    Thank you for your answer! This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at February 8, 2017 9:30 AM MST
      February 7, 2017 8:33 PM MST
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  • You're welcome :) 
      February 7, 2017 8:39 PM MST
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  • Comes a time in every discussion where you realise the person isn't really interested in learning or challenging world views .... They only freaky want to validate their ideas.. nothing else will do ... The trick is spotting that point as early as you can
      February 7, 2017 7:27 PM MST
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  • That is very true. Sometimes I try to, despite of that, I try to bring the other person's defenses down, and maybe find a common place, you know what I mean.
    Sometimes that works and I feel like something was accomplished even if we disagree. Other times, you're totally right, people don't want opinion, they want validation. And it's like hitting a brick wall.
    I wonder if they feel the same about me you know?
    Thank you Oz.
      February 7, 2017 8:24 PM MST
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  • You're all wrong. Have a nice day/night.
      February 7, 2017 7:28 PM MST
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  • That got a grin. :D 
      February 7, 2017 7:56 PM MST
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  • 23582
    I smiled, too.
    :)
      February 7, 2017 7:58 PM MST
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  • )
      February 7, 2017 8:18 PM MST
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  • The exchange of ideas is rarely wasted. If we only discuss things with people who agree with our point of view there's not going to be much opportunity for learning. 

    But I'd rather equate such discussions as sparring rather than fighting. Once the gloves come off everything can become very unpleasant. 
      February 7, 2017 7:57 PM MST
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  • Sure, sure.
    But why do you think we do it?
    Maybe not you, I have noticed you're very even tempered. 
    Hotheadedness, you think?
    An intellectual sneeze? Maybe.
    Opinion Tourette's Syndrome?

      February 7, 2017 8:29 PM MST
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  • Wonderful set of choices. 

    I think we do it because we enjoy it. Sometimes we do it because in trying to persuade another person we're also reinforcing our own opinions. And maybe THAT is a way of saying that by arguing we may be trying to convince ourselves. :)
      February 7, 2017 8:55 PM MST
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  • All I can do is nod to that.
    Because we enjoy it, that's it, right?
    It sounds simple but not really. 
    Why else? 
    Thanks D, that's pretty good.
      February 7, 2017 8:59 PM MST
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