Here is something I just KNOW you will understand...a mentally ill lady was evicted from my apartment complex recently. However, she was just fine for a long time...when her neighbors were friendly and supportive. But the friendly neighbor got too old for stairs and had to move to the lower floor.
That is when the critical neighbors moved in next to the mentally ill lady, and the more they criticized her the worse she got...finally HAD to evict her...
You see where i am going...don't the critical unfriendly harassing neighbors bear some responsibility? Well similarly, I think society negative perception of aging, can be a major factor in oldsters "growing old ungracefully."
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at February 21, 2017 5:23 PM MST
In 1987 I competed in the World Veteran Games and one competitor, an 85 year-old American named Sunbonnet Sue entered everything from the piddling little 1500 metre races to the 10 km cross-country. She ran with enthusiasm and determination and won everybody's hearts. She knew how to grow old gracefully.
The Ulysses Motorcycle Club motto is "Growing Old Disgracefully" which is quite different to "ungracefully". I Kinda like their idea but I don't have the energy.
I posted this anecdote the other day, but it's worth repeating: I now walk only with difficulty and need a walking stick. I still have some military music on my smart phone and if a march comes on my feet try to step up the pace and keep the timing. Unfortunately my knees refuse to cooperate and I probably look like a grasshopper with a broken leg. Now THAT is growing old UNgracefully.
I think im missing something here Mr D. The lady you allude to at the beginning. She ran all those races and then you say she knew how to grow old gracefully. I don't understand. When you say that she did it with enthusiasm and determination is almost like patronising. Like "awwwww, look at her go, adorable" As if the effort is diminished because she's being graceful, as opposed to a fierce competitor. I hope that makes sense.
I think that's where my issue with it is, to link graceful with oldering. As some kind of consolation prize. Graceful no matter the age, that reminds me of showing good form, regardless of the situation. You know? Thank you, L. That's a very good answer. I think.
Growing old ungracefully --- Listening to people, thirty years my junior, tell me how I should live. Growing old gracefully --- Doing what I feel is right for me.
Bitchiness, grumpiness, intransigence, starting any sentence with "When I was a kid"...
Gracefully would include...
Assertiveness and awareness of the stroke economy; flexibility in thought---or at least tolerant consideration of new ideas; and sentences that start with "I have heard it said that..."
Our kids enjoy us rather than just tolerate us---guess it's working.
If youre equating being graceful with being a tolerant open minded person as opposed to just a jerk, yes of course. . . Although, I could be open minded and tolerant at sixty let's say, and still be in the club trying to dance with the 40 somethings, which are in turn trying to dance with the 30 something, which are... you know what I mean. . . Would I still be gracefully growing old? Thinking about it, that makes a lot of sense as the goal of any sensible intelligent self aware living being. To grow old being more open minded, and tolerant, gracefully. That's sounds pretty good to me. Thanks Tom.
LOL come and live here - we seem to be much less *society* ruled than some places. From discussions here, and elsewhere it seems we value and discriminate much less re age than some places. We aren't perfect, of course but I do think there seems more freedom to do what you want lol as long as you do it with style.
It could be because of my own programming but sometimes I find myself second guessing myself in terms of clothing for example. Questioning my age appropriateness. So the programming is undeniable and none is impervious to it. The thought of growing old gracefully occurred to me followed immediately by the question; according to whom? Hence the question. And although, I categorically and decidedly agree with you, I still find myself looking at some sideways thinking, "come on man, act your age" You know what I mean?
Although I don't disagree, this is one of those answers that there's no way to disagree with it without looking like a jerk. You know? Thanks PeaPod, if there's such a thing as growing old gracefully, I'd say that would be it.
I think growing old gracefully is accepting that you aren't young any longer and that you dress age appropriately rather than trying to look like the youth you are no longer. For me as a woman, I am wearing less makeup rather than more - tones that are neutral rather than the stark colors young 'uns are into. My hair is sprinkled with silver, but I have no desire to color it to look younger. There isn't a hair color on earth that's going to make this 71-year old look 25 again. :) By a certain age, leggings and spandex are not for you, not are mini skirts and crop tops.
I see. So it's a dress and appearance thing for you. Which I think it's a huge part of the growing old gracefully. The accepting the limitations that coming to a certain age imposes on us. Even though I understand your point, I do believe me. some part of me want to say that you're wrong and that there's nothing wrong with me wearing thong bikini swimming trunks. Even though I'd probably want somebody to tell me to act my age if I ever did. I understand SS, thanks for responding.
It's dress and appearance, but it's also accepting certain limitations that come with the aging process. If you feel comfortable wearing a thong bikini when you're 71, please feel free to do so. I can only judge what's right for ME. When I see elderly women wearing makeup that looks as though it's applied with a trowel, turquoise eye shadow, eye liner and some garish shade of red lipstick, I want to tell them how ridiculous they look. Sometimes, less is more. :)
tom jackson 