To grow old gracefully. Hummm . The word "old" sometimes carries negative baggage. To me, it doesn't. I enjoy growing. In order to grow, I need to experience situations and environments. That takes time. Time is not bad. Time is good. It allows you to change and grow. With that being said, I find growing old gracefully is learning something new everyday. Accepting things you cannot change. Helping other living beings and allowing them to grow with you and around you. To freely share laughter and knowledge. To be grateful and thankful. To learn to celebrate and dance with life.
To grow old ungracefully. That would be self-pity. Having many should of, would of, could of, in your world. Abusing and taking for granted other living things. Feeling like you had to say, "I told you so." Not seeing the beauty in nature and yourself. Being spiteful to others for your own pleasure.
No. It's not saying, act your age. Some people are much older than they act and some much younger. How would you expect a 98 year old women to act? She has "Old" written all over her. Act your age gives a judgement on how YOU think a person Should act. That is not a good statement no matter how old you are.
Yes. We do say people act childishly when they are throwing a fit and they have already lived through learning that throwing a fit in a certain situation is not appropriate. As a child, you have not yet experienced the behavior needed for a situation. It is not an excuse. It is a fact. When you are 30 and you have already been taught not to act like a 3 year old who hasn't yet experienced that situation, it is a statement on behavioral development.
In conclusion, act your age? Society expects certain behaviors rated on a curve of human development. If you were never taught how to act at the dinner table at 5 years old, without watching and learning at 50 years old, you would not have a clue.
This post was edited by Merlin at February 21, 2017 5:20 PM MST
But don't you think that those things you cite as being indicative of graceful growing oldiness, are just things that would apply to anybody at any age? Isn't that like saying that growing old gracefully is about not stealing, not slashing tires, and not sneezing on the buffet table, for example. Those are just things that don't become valuable when we start getting old . No?.
I think I stated growing old gracefully in the first part of your question, my friend. It doesn't have anything to do with sneezing or being here on the Earth based on how many times the Earth travels around the sun or how many breaths you have taken. It has to do with how you experience life day to day. Celebrating and dancing with life not making it a mission or a frightful feat to accomplish. Does that help?
I think growing old gracefully is accepting whatever age you may be, not wearing mini skirts with wrinkly knees, being classy can be achieved at any age. Staying interested in people particularly young people without being judgmental, I used to know a lady in her 90s and she was so much fun to be with because she still wanted to try new things, hear about what was going on in the world and loved dressing up to go out.
Refusing to accept life sitting in a rocking chair complaining about the way things used to be. My aunt was in her 80s when she signed up for a computer class because she wanted to know how to send emails to the family. I'd like to think I'd be in the same frame of mind should I make it to my 80s.
Dear Yogafan, I tried to continue discussion with you on the Trump poll Q, but I could not get the REPLY button to work... So here, I copied what I was trying to post, and will just put it here!
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Yes YogaFan...I also, never never could vote for Trump...but when the time came, I found I could not vote for Hilary either...as you see...I wanted Bernie Sanders.
Like you however, now that we have Trump he IS potus for 4 years, so I will def try to give it a chance...ty for your thoughtful comment!
I'm glad to hear that somebody is trying to give him a chance. Like it or not he's the President, he's been thrown in the deep end and is going to make mistakes. The world just has to wait and see how this plays out.
I can't add much, a lot has been thoughtfully covered already, except maybe this. A reference has already been made to the way society treats it olds. Is it that the 'gracefully' term is essentially a disparaging one: you are allowed to grow old if you conform to a subservient model, if it is done with decorum that doesn't impinge on the Important People. We will allow you to continue becoming old if you don't challenge the superiority of The Younger and to do that you must do it with respect to Us. You can be whacky and eccentric and we'll smile benevolently on you, otherwise you will be deemed to be disgraceful. So yes, I think there is a controlling aspect to it.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at February 21, 2017 12:44 PM MST
Yes. Perfect. As I have noticed, from the answers, growing old gracefully is about not wearing certain things and about accepting that you are old. Which I really see no different than when we tell our pre teen, to quit acting like a baby. Growing up gracefully is only an euphemism for stay in your place. Although, like I was telling WW, my programming still makes me cringe at others when they act out of place, which makes me think that maybe there's a thing about gracefully accepting your passive role in life as long as you dress age appropriately. Thanks Ms L. Great answer.
How bout you Ms Lucia. Are you ungracefully growing or are you getting gracefullier with time? You know, judging by the answers, im not gracefulling well. As I grow down, I find myself less tolerant, less patient, and a lot less obedient of rules. I suppose im well on my way to old crotchityness. But hey, as long as people stay off my Gosh Darn lawn, everything should be ok. You? )
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at February 22, 2017 11:43 AM MST
We grow old gracefully when (i) We accept the physical changes our body undergoes with the passage of time. (ii) We learn to keep our emotions (especially the negative ones) in check. (iii) We accept others for what they are, warts and all, knowing fully well others can see our flaws which we are blind to ourselves. (iv) We learn tolerance of views opposed to our own. (v) We accept the hand life has dealt us as an opportunity for self discovery.
That's the thing Wisdom, With my stomach, I understand and feel that what you say is right. That's precisely How we should age to be like. Acceptance and peace being our ultimate goals. But then I think, a.d I don't say this in a confrontational way? Reading thru the answers, im starting to believe that there are behaviors that are somewhat excused in the young. Because of inexperience, I suppose, but as we grow older, things that used to be cute, are not anymore. I see that. But then I think, Regardless of how saintlike all those things are, it still feel like a pretty way to keep old people behaving right. Why do I need to keep my emotions in check, why do I need to accept and tolerate others views, even if I consider them ridiculous, why do I need to accept the hand dealt to me? In a young person, rebelling against those things is seen as admirable, in an old person is crotchety and un graceful. You know what I mean? I think that is a perfect list is there is one, WT. Thanks.
Thank you, Lago. I'd like to make just one point on your comment. If a man of 60 reacts the same way as a boy of 20, where have the intervening 40 years gone? What have they contributed to the man's "growth"?
I know, I know. I noticed that hole in my thinking the moment I posted. And honestly, I didn't think you'd see it. Good eye!! And you know, im stuck on that one. I don't have an answer to that. . . Yet. Good point!
Ah This goes to the center of the age gracefully thing and of how ingrained it is in us to where we ourselves believe it. See?, you're assuming that acting like a twenty year old is inherently wrong. Well. . I don't know. . Im still thinking. . . That's a good one!!!
Lulu'sMom 