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Discussion » Questions » Relationships » Have you ever gone out on a date simply for a nice night out?
Baybreeze

Have you ever gone out on a date simply for a nice night out?

Not wanting more? I think this might ease my dating fears/anxiety... I fear men wanting too much too soon, whether its emotional or physical, and I really would love to ease myself by just having a fun night out with someone. Have you ever gone out just for a nice night... did you let your date know you didn't want any thing more?

Posted - February 21, 2017
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Responses


  • 2327
    I have a lot of anxiety. Online dating made it a whole lot easier. You can be as selective as you like, and you can go at any pace you like. That way, you can break the ice and be comfortable before you meet up. I spoke to my wife for months before we met in person. I recommend it for anybody who's shy. 

    And, yes, nothing wrong with just going to the theater, or going out for lunch or just a coffee. Take it at your own pace. Let the person know that too. 
      February 21, 2017 10:34 PM MST
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  • 1138
    Thank you R!!! I feel so so nervous about dating :( I'm in my 30's and never had a bf, and it just feels so lonely now. I feel most will think I'm strange or inexperienced and then be turned off, although men have told me they'd be fine with it ... I still overthink it. Another thing holding me back a lot, is b/c of years of abuse I went through, I am not as confident as other women b/c of it, and I feel men will judge me or leave me b/c of that:/ I just want to move past that all.... and ty so much for saying it is fine to go at 'my ' pace or even just a coffee.... Have a great night
      February 21, 2017 10:47 PM MST
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  • 53509
    Yes, by going out with friends (emphasis on the plural).  A group of people going out together melts away the anxiety that permeates a one-on-one situation. 

    I find that a stand-up comedy show, a hypnosis act, a carnival, a museum, an art gallery, a theatrical production or an outdoor event all make great venues for group attendance. 


    ~
      February 21, 2017 10:56 PM MST
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  • 1138
    I have done that but not really done many one on one dates... and b/c I am lonely, and would like a bf/spouse perhaps one day, I would enjoy that more intimate setting, BUT do not want to lead on any intention of 'I'm here to find the 'one' ' Or 'I'm here for a serious relationship'... I want to go easy and slow at first and just feel no one ever does. :(  I know many guys themselves just go out once, for coffee but are also just seeking intimacy, and then not ever talk again if the woman doesn't give.... but I'd like to just have one night out, no strings, to have fun/convo.. not 'searching' anything. Do you think some guys would like /be ok with it ?
      February 21, 2017 11:00 PM MST
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  • 53509
    I don't know: I've been married for years, so whatever the modern-day dating scene is like would make my opinions seem like a reselling of ancient history. 

    ~
      February 21, 2017 11:06 PM MST
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  • 5835
    The problem is that American women will not give any hint that they are or are not interested in a man. A guy has to inflict himself on a woman and then she will judge whether she is attracted to him. I have talked to lots of women who whine about meeting guys that come on strong and then turn into babies after a few days. The poor girls have no clue about what a man needs from a woman. They are not looking for a relationship, they are looking for a movie script.
      February 22, 2017 1:39 AM MST
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  • 1138
    What DOES a man need from a woman? I think that first sentence you wrote could also go for men too.. they say , if the woman wants too much emotional investment first, 'I don't want to label anything' but still want sex.. I'd just like to know if any man is fine with going SLOW first, it does not seem many are :( They want to push 'relationship', or on the other hand, just want a hook up partner... Maybe just saying up front to someone 'I don't want anything too fast' will be ok... I'm so nervous as it is to date :/  *oh what do you mean by they turn to babies?
      February 22, 2017 7:24 PM MST
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  • 5835
    A man needs companionship. Some women won't give a man companionship, but they will give him sex. A lot of people grow up thinking sex is all their is just because that's all they ever got. That doesn't work right, and they never figure out what's wrong.
      February 23, 2017 1:29 AM MST
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  • 22891
    no, guys wont even ask me out, not sure why
      February 22, 2017 9:53 AM MST
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  • 7792
    That's all some of us want sometimes. There will always be time for "other things". Providing that life doesn't turn into a d**k and you get killed. This post was edited by Zack at February 23, 2017 12:59 PM MST
      February 22, 2017 7:29 PM MST
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  • 1138
    Thx Z :) I feel 'will I lead someone on, if it went well?' I'm always wondering if someone likes me, and when it will stop/they'll ditch me.. It is mainl;y from years of abuse thinking i'm less, and don't matter. I'm changing that, and just want ONE night even where I'm not nervous as hell to accept a date, and just have fun For THAT night.. not think, 'where will this go.. ' etc.... ughhh! wish I could stop my brain completely. Thanks Z *hugg
      February 23, 2017 12:58 PM MST
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