A man stayed out late getting drunk and when he arrived home his wife was asleep. As he tiptoed up the stairs the cuckoo clock sounded twice: Cuckoo! Cuckoo! He might have been drunk but he was resourceful too and cuckooed another eight times.
Next morning his wife said, "Will you drop the clock off for repair today, dear?" "Why? What's wrong with it?" "Last night it cuckooed twice, belched, farted, said Oh sh1t, then cuckooed another eight times."
Benedict Arnold 