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Does this mean anything from a guy?

Recently I was in a pizza shop and was eating my dinner, solo. I noticed a cute guy behind the counter, cooking there. As I was finishing up my dinner, he came out to the seating area and brought a wrap to eat, it was slow there,  for his break.He got a seat nearby to me, and seemed nervous, Getting up a few times /pacing to say something to the cashier ....ate his meal within 5 mins and threw rest away. I am shy so I kind of still looked down/finishing my meal. A few mins after he was done, he came back out to where I was, where there is a t.v. right above the table next to me... He reached up to turn it toward me (I was the only one there now) and looked at me, quizzically/questioning - like if that was good or better... I said, 'oh thank you , that is great..' And he replied "I wasn't sure if it could be seen" (it definitely was fine how it was).. then a min. or two later, he wen toward the back again, and I had to go anyway. I think, Geez I am probably really overestimating what it was, but it felt a little, like he wanted to talk/say hi, but didn't... did this show anything if a guy makes any gesture or was he simply being kind? I think he was cute, and I might go in again soon Lol.

Posted - April 2, 2017

Responses


  • 6124
    Maybe he was just being nice, maybe he was truly interested.  You won't know until you try.  AND, believe it or not, I actually smile at strangers all the time when I am out and about.  I don't do it because I am looking for a friendship or a relationship.  I do it because it makes ME feel good.  It feels especially good when the person I am smiling at smiles back at me.  And guess what else?  99% of the time, THEY ALWAYS SMILE BACK!  It's an automatic reflex.  So, my point is, don't make this about a relationship.  It doesn't matter whether he is interested in you or not.  When you smile at someone you aren't doing anything that might lead to an embarrassing situation if you have mistakenly read it wrong.  Your smiling at him can convey a number of things that aren't relationship based.  You are having a good day, you are letting him know that you don't think of him as one of those invisible employees that people have a tendency to ignore or, you remembered and appreciate that he turned the TV toward you.  You are also giving him the go ahead to chat with you if that is what he wants to do.  Whether he chats with you with the intention of being friendly with a regular customer or because he is interested in something more, either of those scenarios is a good one.  If nothing else, just doing this is the first step in attempting to practice breaking out of your shell.  Sometimes, if we want something badly enough, we have to push ourselves to do things that normally leave us very uncomfortable.  I know this is hard for you.  I was a very, very shy child. One day when I was a teenager, I decided I didn't like being shy.  I wanted more friends.  I was very lucky there was an improvisation class being offered for the first time by our English/Drama Dept teacher.  I took the class.  The hardest thing I ever had to do in my life (at that point in time) was standing up in front of a classroom and acting out scenarios that I had to make up in my head.  It wasn't easy and I thought I would die from fright. I can honestly say now, that was the best class I ever took because it was the most challenging and forced me to think quickly.  It also helped me overcome my fear of public speaking.   The biggest take away was what I just shared with you.  Smiling at people is not scary.  It actually allows you to control the situation.  So, take control of the situation Baybreeze!  Start taking control of you life before it completely passes you by.  You deserve to be happy. Keep reminding yourself of that.  No one is worthless.  You are a lot more powerful than you realize.  Take control girl!  :-)
      April 3, 2017 10:17 AM MDT
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  • 1138
    Aww, thanks Harry!!! This made me smile so much today. Wow, it was so kind of you to take time to reply with such detail, thank you:) That's the thing, I need to somehow break OUT of this shell. It is made of complete fear :( I have never even dated, despite being an adult for many years. I had chaotic abuse and violence growing up and it continued into adulthood (the actual abuse AND symptoms like anxiety ) so I don't think much At ALL of myself. HOw  can I expect a guy to like or love me if I'm so unconfident? Or he'd sense I was 'tainted' by all the abuse; that is my fear :(  That a guy would just have someone who's whole, and even though philosphers SAY we are whole , 'now' , I don't feel it. But your words of compassion that I DO DESERVE to be happy was so wonderful today.

    My mind often says 'Don't say hi to that guy , who do u think u ARE?' b/c of the fear. But I don't want to live like this anymore, just like you with being shy. GREAT job by the way on doing something for YOU and taking that class.. wow! It is so nice to know we CAN challenge ourselves and BE who we really want. I would really like to go back and feel GOOD about me, and that MAYBE just maybe he really did like me a bit and that was why he was trying to engage with me. And thanks so much for the part on it doesn't HAVE to be a relationship.. THAT is what freaks me out in romance; thinking a guy wants a relationship right away when I need to take friendship or the pace a bit SLOWER. So I decline dates because I fear a guy thinks I'm ready to just jump to intimacy or a relationship when I am really not. You were SO awesome to reassure me, it can be ANYthing, even friendship, or just a smile too. Message me anytime friend, thank you so much *hugggg.
      April 3, 2017 12:55 PM MDT
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  • 6124
    Baby steps Baybreeze.  Why don't you try the smile exercise when you go out to the grocery store or gas station.  Use it on other women.  I guarantee you that they will smile back.  Think of it this way -- they may be having a bad day and a smile from a stranger just might be what they really could use.  You would be doing a good deed.  If you can separate yourself from your own troubles and think about what someone else might be going through, it should make it a little easier.  :-)
      April 3, 2017 3:41 PM MDT
    1