That's the question. Do you feel more/less sad about a person's death based on how they died? For example, is it less sad if someone dies while driving a race car than it would be if they died in an accident on a regular roadway? Or, is it more sad if someone dies of cancer versus a drug overdose? My question is, how much does HOW a person dies affect how YOU feel about their death.
"How" is rarely a factor, "how expected" or the reverse can be. My mother had been at death's door for a long time, her passing was almost a relief. My cousin suicided when it seemed he had gotten his life back on track - that one was a shock.
Passing after a long illness, the inevitability of it cushions the effect. An accident or some other unexpected calamity hits harder.
Yes. I also agree with Slartibartfast. Sometimes the feeling of relief at the end of suffering impacts one's grief. Or knowing that they lived a long and beautiful life, versus the death of a child or younger person.
The biggest impact for me is when they die really suddenly, one time my parents and I were at a get together with some family friends when we got the news that the host's brother died of a heart attack.
It depends on how long you have to prepare. When you're dealing with someone who has Alzheimers or dementia, that prep time can seem endless. After watching my father slowly slip away for five years and now my mom for the past four, I almost wish they had gone from something quick and painless.
I know what you're saying. Sadly, I've had many reasons to think about this quite a lot. Losing someone suddenly and completely unexpectedly is very hard for those left behind, but seems far preferable than watching endless suffering. Someone I know recently had an accident and left severely paralyzed and unable to breathe on her own. She was allowed to make the decision to turn off the respirator, which I think is very fortunate and as it should be. I honestly think that it was as ideal as a death can be. She and her friends and family were able to say their goodbyes and she didn't have to suffer through years of a torturous existence that she didn't want.
I'm so sorry for the suffering of your parents and what you've gone through having to witness it. I have thought about it being a blessing that I won't have to experience that.
It sucks. My husband died of a heart attack this past Halloween. I Wasn't ready for him to go.
This post was edited by carbonproduct at May 21, 2017 8:10 PM MDT
Pearl 